Dogwood Girl

Cool Idea

2008-12-30T09:16:00.003-05:00

Todd and I have really been recycling like crazy this year, and it is amazing how much we have reduced the amount of crap in the trash. I get absolutely giddy when I fill up my composting bin and take it out and dump it on the pile. I know. Glamorous and exciting life I lead here.

It is also amazing how annoyed i am starting to get with packaging that can't be recycled. The packaging on Christmas morning was just disgusting. Can't someone figure out a way to recycle that thin plastic glass-like window stuff in toy boxes? What about the detestable dark gray or black rectangle doodads that protect the cardboard from the very annoying plastic-coated doodadders that tie dolls and toys into the cardboard boxes? The inventor of those two items should be shot, just on principle. Kids toys should rattle around in their boxes like they did when I was a kid! No one should need a damn sledgehammer and crowbar to open a monster truck or a Dora.

Anyway, I thought my friend Dan's wife came up with a great idea: Homemade, reusable fabric gift bags. Not that I would in any way be capable of making one of these bags, but for those crafty types out there (Nikki?), thought you might be interested.

Also, if i used one, my dead grandma Palmer would rise right up out of her grave, walk all the way here from Savannah, and whack me over the head with her purse, just for thinking of robbing my children of the joy of ripping open some gift paper at Christmas.

This is Your Chance

2008-12-28T11:46:00.005-05:00

Okay, so since i have started running, a number of people who don't run have asked me about how I got started, how hard it is, and a few have even expressed interest in trying it. More often, though, people seem interested, but when i tell them "you could totally do this!" they say,
"No, i could never run 13 miles, or 6 miles, or 3 miles." Some of them say they could never run a mile.

I understand this. For me, running is 10 percent actual effort, and about 30 percent sticking to a training plan, and 60 percent mental. The mental part consists of coaxing myself off the couch, and saying, "Okay, I just have to do three miles. I know I can at least WALK three miles, so i might as well do that. That counts." And that is, seriously, how I get myself out there. And sometimes, I surprise myself, and it is really easy, and I run the whole distance. Other times, it is not easy, and I walk parts, but i always finish the distance. And even when I walk part of it, I never regret getting out there and doing it.

People ask me how i ever got started. I started the way all people i know started. I started small. I started with a Couch-to-5K plan. Those are plans specifically for people who have been sitting on their ass watching too much The Hills, or playing nothing but World of Warcraft for two years straight, while drinking cases of beer, or drinking a bottle of wine a night. I know that's what they were doing, because that's what I was doing, too. And I still finished a half-marathon on Thanksgiving day. But i started small, and if you are looking to do something similar, you can too.

What am i getting at? This.

My friend Steph is a great runner. She is modest and will deny this, but she is fast and also a triathlete. Even athletes get injuries, though, and she is back at square one after an injury. She is starting a 5k plan at the very beginning; She is in the baby steps, walking stages. And she is trying to sign up recruits to do her plan with her.

She and Natalie, at The Negative Split, were my inspiration for getting into running. And if you really want to do it, you could follow along with Steph. She has 12 people doing the plan with her, and they come from all different levels. She has injured runners, beginners, and folks who used to run but haven't for years. They are all joining her in the plan.

You don't have to run with them, although i am sure they would love to have you. You could follow along with the plan and check in with her weekely. Steph is positive, inspiring, and a great coach. You could do worse than having her for a trainer.

If you are thinking about starting running, shoot her an email. I bet you would never regret it. This is your chance.

Update: Not sure what is up with Nat's site. . .

Best Christmas Ever!

2008-12-25T16:44:00.006-05:00

Okay, not ever. It wasn't as good as the Christmas I got the real Xavier Roberts doll, or the Barbie Dream House, or the Breyer Horse Stable. But it was the best one as an adult since a few years ago when I got Frye harness boots and my Ipod Nano.

Replacement Ipod for the one i killed and Rock Band! Woot! And if Santa brings it, it doesn't cost anything!

Is it bad that I keep wanting to push my son down and rip the controller out of his hands?

Lost Arts

2008-12-20T15:57:00.001-05:00

I have always been fascinated by the way that people lived, survived, ate, and lived in the past. Maybe it was too much Little House, but i have always been amazed at the things that people knew how to do. Baking, and sewing, candlemaking, fire banking, farming and building things with their hands.. . these have always been things that interested me in a way. I often think of how far removed I have become from those skills in just two generations. My grandparents did not have tvs, cars, electricity and running water when they were small. They had no heat or air conditioning. No malls, target, or Walmart. They had the rolling store. They had Grandma's Singer sewing machine. They had lathes and planes and saws and mills and plows. They had mules, horses, and wagons. They had chickens and eggs and pigs. They knew how to wring a neck and kill a pig. They made hoecake. They had gardens, and wells. They canned. They made their own clothes.

All of this is becoming lost to us. Sure, I can remember my grandparents talking about these things, but talking and doing are not the same thing. So, sometimes, I like to try and learn little skills such as the ones they knew.

No, I didn't kill a pig. I made Grandma Palmer's banana pudding.

This may not seem like a lot. But i didn't even know that the stuff in the pudding is actually custard. Until i made the custard, I did not even know what was in custard. That fluff on the top is meringue? Huh. I had no idea that was just egg and sugar. I made that bitch and it looks damn good, too. Haven't tasted it yet, but i don't know how it could go wrong with ingredients like that.

Not sure why i wanted to make the pudding, except that it makes me think of my grandma Palmer, and i have been thinking about my grandmas a lot lately, and my mom, too. I don't think that growing up as a tomboy and a daddy's girl I ever realized just how hard my mother and grandmas worked to put meals on the table, or to make holidays as wonderful as they were. And I never heard a complaint from them.

Rollie and Tiller will not such peaceful memories of their own mother at Christmas time.

Fucking custard and meringue, sugar cookies that look like blobs, and fudge that won't set up . . .

Tiller's Christmas Pageant

2008-12-19T11:15:00.008-05:00

Unless you are a grandparent, Aunt, Uncle, or someone else with a deep attachment to the girl, you can just stop reading now. The pageant went off without a hitch, so there are no tantrums, crying jags, meltdowns or otherwise entertaining portions of the video. Just a bunch of little kids shaking bells and singing.

Just posting it for Todd and the family, since none of them could make it. (Yes, I am feeling a little guilty about Tiller getting the second-child treatment.) Video for your viewing enjoyment:

Principles

2008-12-18T17:53:00.003-05:00

I have none.

I know that Domino's is all about bossing my uterus around, but damn! I love watching my delivery via the online Pizza Tracker.

Spirit

2008-12-18T08:45:00.002-05:00

There is no sweeter sound than the sound of one's child and husband singing "Jingle Bells" together. I keep on thinking we should cancel the whole Christmas season, what with all the extra work it creates, but I don't really mean it. Christmas has not been this magical for me since the horror of finding out about Santa.

That is a lie. There was no one moment when the Santa jig was up - it was more insidious, a creeping doubt that became stronger and stronger, until i just didn't believe anymore.

But now I remember how vivid everything was, how fascinating each decoration and ornament. Everything about December as a child was a winter wonderland. Mom and Dad, thanks for making me believe in magic. I hope i am working the same magic for Tiller and Rollie. I know they are giving me back a little Christmas spirit, and a whole hunk'o joy.

I Will Be Sad

2008-12-15T13:32:00.002-05:00

I will be sad, when she learns to say her "Rs." Right now, they are all "W." Rollie is Wally. Road is woad. Red is wed. Tiller is tirrer - When people ask her her name, it sounds like she is saying "Terror." Cracks us up.

Posting Machine

2008-12-11T11:18:00.003-05:00

Ah, the mystery of why Atlanta has no thriving downtown or Midtown. . . my latest musings on the subject are up on Metroblogging Atlanta.

Tell Me Something I Didn't Already Know

2008-12-10T23:10:00.004-05:00

Your result for Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test...

Linguistic

16% Logical, 14% Spatial, 59% Linguistic, 37% Intrapersonal, 18% Interpersonal, 20% Musical, 53% Bodily-Kinesthetic and 18% Naturalistic!

"Verbal-linguistic intelligence has to do with words, spoken or written. People with verbal-linguistic intelligence display a facility with words and languages. They are typically good at reading, writing, telling stories and memorizing words and dates. They tend to learn best by reading, taking notes, listening to lectures, and via discussion and debate. They are also frequently skilled at explaining, teaching and oration or persuasive speaking. Those with verbal-linguistic intelligence learn foreign languages very easily as they have high verbal memory and recall, and an ability to understand and manipulate syntax and structure.

Careers which suit those with this intelligence include writers, lawyers, philosophers, journalists, politicians and teachers." (Wikipedia)

Take Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test at HelloQuizzy

Via Mostly Muppet

And no, i don't have much to blog about lately. I have a November hangover.

For Twilight Fans (And Those Who Ridicule Them)

2008-12-10T22:00:00.003-05:00

Twilight Puppet Movie Summary!

Via my fave book blog, Baby Got Books.

Required Reading List

2008-12-10T08:52:00.003-05:00

So, a friend asked what I was reading lately, and i couldn't really think of anything that blew me away.

So, what are you reading right now? What have you read lately that blew you away?

I am So Wearing These in the Carpool Line Today!

2008-12-08T11:52:00.004-05:00

My rad gift Todd brought me back from Winter Park!

Misfits gloves! Freakin' awesome.

For Todd, Who Left Forever Ago

2008-12-06T00:04:00.009-05:00

In case you miss us a little, in your Fat Tire stupor. . . things have been a little like this:

But mostly like this:

We miss you, too.

Still Basking in the Glow of Accomplishment

2008-12-01T10:33:00.003-05:00

I put my half-marathon race report up on Metroblogging Atlanta. Not sure what to do with myself, now that i have no noveling and no race to train for. . . Todd would say that I have plenty of laundry to do.

I prefer bon-bons and Oprah.

Most Productive November Evah

2008-11-30T21:33:00.002-05:00

I ran my first half-marathon on Thanksgiving. I wrote a novel. Not bad* for November. . . .

*I still haven't finished my Christmas shopping. Okay, i haven't even started my Christmas shopping, unless you count snowglobes from the Dollar Tree. Also, my novel is complete crap and it is non-fiction crap, at that.

Dogwood Girl Runs, Writes, Congratulates, Coughs

2008-11-30T10:17:00.003-05:00

I know i have been missing in action during most of November. I attribute this to a)NanoWriMO b)Half-marathon training and c) family sickness.

So, i have about 2000 words left on NaNo today. I finished the half on Thursday. This may not seem like much until you drive to Chamblee Marta station (the approximate starting line) and then drive down Ptree Industrial until it turns into Peachtree, and then follow that all the way to downtown Atlanta and then over to Turner Field. Yes, I ran from Chamblee to Turner Field and people, that is a long-ass way.

I am proud of myself for finishing what I started out to do. Sometimes I am not that great with follow-through.

So, writing Nano today and driving back from Auburn to Atlanta. It will be nice to be home.

p.s. Congratulations to all you Tech and Bama fuckers.

Help me out, Runner Folks

2008-11-24T20:22:00.002-05:00

My latest Metroblogging Atlanta post is up as of today. Check it out and give me all your sage advice on running the Thanksgiving Half Marathon. Because I am a little nervous. I admit it.

Although the calories I can conceivably take in afterwards without guilt do give me a little courage. Three words: "Mama's Mashed Potatoes."

And as an update: Nano is going well, although I am going to be driving right down to the wire.

Tiller's New Haircut

2008-11-22T09:37:00.002-05:00

I live vicariously through my daughter's hair. Yes, you heard me right.

I have long bemoaned the curse of the curl, that never allows me to have bangs or cute bobs, or even a decent Dorothy Hamill growing up. But now i have a Tiller! A straight-haired, sharp-cut banged Tiller! In the bob that I wanted in 6th grade. (Instead I ended up with what some still refer to as "The ET.")

I give you Tiller (front and side views):

Nano Update

2008-11-21T15:45:00.003-05:00

Well, I fell off the wagon a few days this week, but find that when I sit down to write, I am pretty damn fast at cranking this stuff out. I am at 32475, i think. Plenty of time left to meet my goal, and I honestly think this is going to go over 50,000 words.

I am so glad that i started this. It has given me a confidence that I have not had before.

And now I am going to go out and have fun tonight with people from high school - Very strange! And not embarrassing at all that i blogged about wanting to have sex with one of them in the middle of homeroom! Or that his fiance is coming! Or that Natalie might wear some ridiculous ensemble involving a hooker heels, egged on by Carrie, with Camille laughing all the while. I am sure there is little chance of the Roswell Police being called on us.

I am sure i will feel wonderful in the morning, just in time to go to a cookout with more high school people! Go Creekers!

Facebook is weird.

Oh, and i have a date on Sunday. With Edward. He's very mature.

Art For Kids

2008-11-19T19:17:00.004-05:00

This morning, I heard Todd and Rollie talking about one of Rollie's paintings from school. We get about three per week. They are . . . interesting. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but Todd came in with eyebrows raised, looking a little speechless, then asked if I had overheard what they were discussing.

"Rollie, come in here and show Mama your painting from school," Todd said, staring at me eyes wide and unblinking.

"Look, Mama!" Rollie said, holding up the painting.

I could not discern what he was portraying in the painting. I was scared to ask what it was.

Todd said, "Tell Mama the name of the painting, Rollie," keeping his voice calm and level, and somehow free of laughter.

Rollie beamed at me, holding it up higher for me to see.

"It's Rollie's Blood Monster!"

Yanked from a Time Warp Into the Blessed Present

2008-11-19T17:47:00.003-05:00

I have written before about my love for the song This Must Be the Place, by Talking Heads, and about how cool it was that Arcade Fire covered the song live. So, last night, we came in from dinner out, and I had to do the dishes from lunch (Domestic Diva, don't'cha know?) and so i turned on the radio. I usually listen to 88.5 or 92.9 FM or a CD while in the kitchen, but for some reason, i didn't like what was on, and I flipped over to WREK. Well, they were playing the Arcade Fire cover of This Must Be the Place, and so i stood there and listened for the whole song.

It is amazing the way a song, particular songs, can completely transport you to a different time in your life, so much so that you can almost taste and smell and feel it, and it looms over you, and you are just transfixed by it. I could not have changed the channel if I had wanted.

Also, I did not want to do the dishes, or finish the dishes and have to go wrangle children into PJs. Much more enjoyable to daydream about being eighteen and in love and with that peculiar sense of possibility that i had when I fell in love with the song the first time.

So, the song ended and I came roughly out of my reverie to the sound of the college girl on the radio, saying the name and band and the name of the radio show. And then she said, "And now i have some tickets to give away. If you'd like to see Broken Social Scene at the Variety, be the first caller through."

My cel was right there on the counter, I dialed the number and she answered. I won.

Just like that, I was yanked from 1990 to 2008, like a shot. And now I am going to a free show tonight. I love it when stuff like that happens. And I still love that song.

Obviously, based on this with my combined win of the book from Goodreads, I will be buying a lottery ticket this Friday.

I'm Pretty Sure

2008-11-18T08:08:00.001-05:00

Overheard at my house this morning:

"Ni hao, Tiller."

"Ni hao, Daddy."

I'm pretty sure that my Dad would consider that either gay or communist, but i am not sure which one.

Hope

2008-11-17T15:44:00.003-05:00

I hope my daughter never loses the nerve and desire to stand up on a bench in the playground and sing and dance her little guts out. At what point did we lose that?

Take All The Fun Out of It Why Don't You?

2008-11-15T08:52:00.003-05:00

Auburn and Georgia disappointed me so wholly this season that I don't even feel any animosity towards my husband this morning.

That's no fun.

I Never Win Anything!

2008-11-14T08:16:00.002-05:00

But this morning, right there in my inbox, was a notification that I won a copy of this pre-release book. I love the site Goodreads and they have this nifty FirstReads give-away. Basically, you sign up to win pre-release copies from publishers. If you win, they send you a copy of the book and they request that you post a review on Goodreads. How cool is that?

So, NaNoWriMo is going well. I am at over 22,000 words. Almost halfway there and right on schedule. It has almost worked out well that I have been sick for over three weeks. More reason to sit around and write. The impact on my running has not been that great. Think wheezing on hills and coughing up massive amounts of green phlegm, but I'm still running on Thanksgiving, even if I am not at a hundred percent. I missed over a week of workouts, so i doubt it will make that much of a difference in my physical ability to run the half, but it definitely has affected my mental game. Confidence level is not high.

About to have the big one?

2008-11-12T14:03:00.002-05:00

My heart is racing. I am so nervous. My blood pressure must be through the roof. Where is my xanax?

Oh, wait. Now I feel better.

A Few Things I know

2008-11-11T11:42:00.004-05:00

My mama tells a good story.
Coming from a long line of alcoholics makes for a much more interesting family history.
Hearing that your distinguished ancestors broke their faces, pissed themselves, and liked to sing when they got drunk makes it feel like you are honoring them when you make an ass of yourself. You just don't play the piano as well.
When I stumble and hesitate when choosing between dropping the baby and dropping the drink, I now know that I come by it honestly.
Do it yourself hysterectomies are hysterical. Get it?
Taxi drivers make excellent drinking partners.
There is not much that Grandma Palmer, Aunt lessie, Aunt Dot, or Dad wouldn't say. I guess I come by that honestly, too.

This barely breaks the surface. I am having a blast writing all of this down.* Word count creeping ever higher.

*Don't worry, family. If it ever makes the light of day, I will change names to protect the [not so] innocent.

The Way We Were Made to Live

2008-11-09T16:16:00.007-05:00

Went camping yesterday. It was the kids' first trip. 28 degree low overnight. Trial by fire, Palmers always say. OJT, as Pop says.

The leaves were completely at peak, and gorgeous. We went with some friends from the old neighborhood, and some of their friends, whom we had not met before, but they were all awesome. All of our kids were about the same age. 8 kids. Not bad odds for Rollie, as he and the youngest, Vince, were the only boys. The kids had pretty much free rein through the campground, as we were the only people there. Cooper Creek runs right across the Forest Road from the campsite, and the kids enjoyed racing leaves and skipping stones (or just plopping them in).

Wood was plentiful, and there were so many of us, that the firewood gathering was a cinch. Also, men like to break things and chop things and burn things, and women are smart enough to let the men knock themselves out doing it, while the women pour themselves a stiff one.

Most of the adults took the kids on a hike to a nearby waterfall, while Debbie and I kept the home fire burning. This consists of occasionally putting a log on the fire, then pouring oneself a little bourbon and reading a book while sitting by the fire. The kids' hike is what is referred to in parenting circles as "wearing their asses out."

One of the dads brought a leftover Dora the Explorer pinata, and hung it in the woods, then took the kids on an adventure, and they found it in the woods. Much excitement was had by all, despite the fact that a Dora hanging in the woods out of nowhere is a little creepy and Blair Witch Project-ish.

After getting all the candy out of it, the Dora was still in one piece, so the dad and i hung back to whack the shit out of Dora with a large branch until only her head was left hanging. We did this for every parent who has had "We're going on a berry hunt, gonna pick some juicy ones" stuck in their head for two weeks straight. You do not have to thank us. We enjoyed doing it. Possibly a little too much.

The hike and pinata were followed by stuffing their bellies with all kinds of junk food, preservatives, and cancer-inducing nitrate-filled meats on a stick, then topping them off with smores until their little bellies distend, and their eyes glaze over.

With so many parents to watch over the little ones, I got a few minutes alone on both days. Quint and I hiked halfway up the ridge by the campsite until he started looking at me like I was crazy. He is eight and arthritic and grumpy, and I love him, so I stopped. Also? I might be able to run 12 miles, but hiking uses all sorts of muscles I am not used to working out. I am sore today.

Getting kids into pjs, warm, into sleeping bags, and asleep in tents is not the easiest thing in the world, but once we got them calmed down, everyone's kids crashed out. When the sun went down, we had the pleasure of hearing a bunch of owls. Sitting around the campfire is always fun, and we had a Waxing Gibbous moon overhead, so one could walk around and pee without a flashlight. The stars were out, as it was cold and clear. I forget that living in the city is like having a mesh screen over me when i look at the sky, that i am only seeing a small part of it's mesmerizing tapestry. They were beautiful, the owls were beautiful, the leaves were beautiful, the sound of the wind in the trees was beautiful, the sound of the creek running was beautiful, and seeing my kids run around in the woods was beautiful.

Sleeping in the tent when it goes down to 28 degrees is not so beautiful, but was survivable. Tiller and I snuggled together in the tent (Todd and Rollie were in the next one) and she really slept, while I spent most of the night, worrying that she was going to keep kicking off her sleeping bag, and dozing fitfully while Quint did smaller and smaller donuts at the end of tiller's feet. I was so happy to cuddle in with that smelly, stinky love of a dog. According to Todd, Rollie spent the entire night mummified in his own bag, without even his head sticking out. Smart kid, that one. I had to get up in the middle of the night and pee, and it was pretty much the worst pee ever. I thought for sure Quint would freak out and have to follow me, but it was too cold for even him, and when I climbed back in the tent, the little sneak had crawled up into the head of my bag and curled up, his head right next to Tiller's. At least he had the honor to look a little guilty when I came back in, but when i told him to move, he growled at me. I then got tickled, wondering if anyone else heard Quint growling and wondered if there was a wild animal in the camp.

I never did get much sleep, and i wasn't cold enough to freeze to death, but it was cold enough to not be comfortable and wish for morning. It was still better than the rainy night I spent in Joyce Kilmer with Zach and Scott, when Scott slept fitfully and did that weird half-dreaming, half-awake thing and he dreamt that a bear was attacking the tent and actually cried out in his sleep, scaring the bejeesus out of us all - It still makes me laugh to think about the warbling fearful moan that woke me that night; That was by far the most miserable camping trip in the history of the world, even worse than the windy and rainy LSD camping trip in college.

This was not like that at all, though. it was fun, and mostly relaxing, and it made me yearn for the outdoors, as I always do. I often think that the way we live today is not the way we were made to live.

Oh, and not one kid asked for the tv the whole time we were there.

Majority

2008-11-07T14:03:00.003-05:00

I am still digesting the election and its outcome, but in the meantime, the following quote struck me as particularly apt this week.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

I will write about the election later, but i just want to do my thoughts on this historic event some justice. Also, i get a little teary every time I start thinking about it. Such a damn softie!

Still Chugging Along

2008-11-06T20:03:00.002-05:00

So, keeping up with my NaNoWriMo goals is definitely impacting my blogging. (Although it does not seem to have made any impact on my Facebooking.) But i am totally caught up on my word count so far, at day 6 of November. Yay me!

Even if I weren't to write another lick the rest of the month, the progress I have made in just six days is astounding to me. I never knew I could crank out the writing like this! It has been very fun, and very inspiring, and I am so glad i took it on.

My running, on the other hand, is kind of slack this week. I have had the coughing, post-nasal drip thing for three weeks straight, and then last night i puked up dinner out of nowhere. Not sure what was up with that, but felt like doody this morning and have had an upset stomach all afternoon. I am not sure what the deal is with kids, but they are little Typhoid Marys, and you should not allow one in your house. Ever. Think zombies. It is horrible.

Anyway, sickness is good for writing, not so good for the mileage. Oh well.

Oooh, and we are going camping this weekend if all are healthy. I am very excited. I need me some nature.

Our Eyes Are Like Doors

2008-11-03T17:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes kids say the most poetic things. They try to figure out the world and categorize and classify things by comparing them to the things they know. They see and imagine connections that adults never see anymore. They think you can grow chocolate on a Hydrangea, for God's sake!

Tiller came and sat down to me on the couch while i was writing. She was facing me, and reached up and touched the side of my face, then used her index finger to lightly close my right eyelid, which I did. Then, as I opened my eye up again, her hand was still on my cheek and she was gazing into my eyes. She whispered, "Our eyes are like doors. . . ."

Why can't i walk around saying stuff like that? Sounds awesome out of the mouth of a child, but a little kooky out of a thirty-something, like i would be trying too hard, or re-enacting scenes from Ladyhawke.

It's On!

2008-11-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

So, i've caught up on my NaNoWriMo. It seems you have to write 1667 words per day, every day during the month of November to reach the 50,000 mark. I'm caught up as of today. (Didn't write a lick yesterday).

Unfortunately, their servers seem to be slammed, because I am unable to upload my work and see my word count on my little counter widget here on my blog. Which is just a glitch, but it would feel good to see the fruit of my work after spending the morning working on it. I know, i am stupid that way. Must get recognition!

However, I was able to add writing Buddies, so that is cool. Fellow Atlanta bloggers Mostly Muppet and The Arc of Time are doing NaNoWriMo this year, too. I have to say that it is pretty fun and inspiring to know that so many other writers are out there dumping their brains and getting excited about their writing, all in a cool Global writing community. Such a great idea.

Woohoo! Any other friends of Dogwood Girl doing it this year? Let me know in the comments, or shoot me an email . . . .

I'm Doing It

2008-11-01T21:51:00.002-04:00

This year, I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the first time. It's a pretty cool idea, actually, and I know a few people who have done it in the past. The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month of November. It doesn't have to be good, or edited, or have a plot, but the goal is to crank out quantity. This, of course, scares me, but i am doing it anyway, because let's be honest, I need a new hobby after the demoralizing ass-whupping the Dawgs took yesterday. So, you'll be able to see my updated word count while I am writing during the month (just look for the nifty NaNoWriMo widget), and I will give updates on my progress throughout the month. This also means that I will probably not be writing lengthy Dogwood Girl posts this month, although I feel that this could be a momentous month politically, and that might just have to be blogged about. We'll see how I feel come Wednesday morning.

Let's see if this thing is working. (I haven't uploaded any words yet to the NaNoWriMo site, but just trying to see if the thing is working.)

Oh, one other thing about NaNoWriMo: At first, I thought, well, this is going to result in a hot mess of crappy writing all over the world: What a crappy idea. Then I read that one of the novels that resulted from NaNoWriMo in the past was Sara Gruen's amazing Water for Elephants. That pretty much blows my mind.

Our Haunting

2008-10-31T09:45:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure all of my electronics are haunted. First the dishwasher, then my Ipod, then some funkiness with Todd's Ipod after I used it, and now my computer is on the fritz. I can't even re-install Mac OSx. So, it's off to the Genius Bar again, and y'all know how I love those folks.

In the meantime, have a great Halloween, and do a good deed today. Sign the petition to pardon Britain's executed Witches!

Thanks to Ned for the link.

Some Days

2008-10-30T13:47:00.003-04:00

This is just downright scary, but not really surprising to me. A friend received a warning from their company travel agent. I was curious, so I googled it, and it appears that it is a widespread alert (not just some travel agency covering their ass) issued by WorldCue.

"Worldcue® Alert
Severity: Warning Alert

Security:: Civil unrest possible late Nov. 4-early Nov. 5 after U.S. election
results are announced. Avoid demonstrations.

This alert affects United States.

This alert began 28 Oct 2008 16:51 GMT and is scheduled to expire 06 Nov 2008
23:59 GMT.
Event:Presidential election
Date: Nov. 4
Location: Nationwide
Impact: Heightened security; possible civil unrest

Summary
Security forces are preparing for outbreaks of civil unrest after the results of
the Nov. 4 presidential election are announced. Thousands of police officers
will be deployed during and after polling for the election between Republican
John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama, which will see either the nation's first
black president or first female vice president take office. Mass protests are
likely should Obama, who is leading in the run-up to the election, lose the
final vote in a controversial manner. However, postings on dozens of Internet
Web sites have also warned of violence should Obama win.

Small-scale political unrest is likely before, during and after the polls.
Clashes at party rallies and small-scale attacks on party offices are possible.
Record voter turnout could overload polling places on election day, further
raising tensions. Violent unrest is most likely in Chicago, Detroit, Oakland,
Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. but could occur anywhere in the country.

Advice
Expect increased security leading up to and during the election. Avoid political
gatherings."

Some days i feel hopeful, some days I feel scared. Some days I just think everyone else has lost their mind.

New Running Playlist - Special Guest Star Todd!

2008-10-30T11:48:00.003-04:00

Since my Ipod died, I have been using Todd's dinosaur (about four pounds!) Ipod on my runs. I haven't quite gotten around to convincing him that I should control what music he puts on his own Ipod (yet), so I have been using his Running mix. Lots of the same stuff I have, plus some I haven't used that worked out well. The only thing we definitely don't agree on? I just can't run to The Shins or Vampire Weekend. I don't even like Vampire Weekend, actually. And I think The Shins are boring.*

There. I said it.
*Except for "New Slang," which is, of course, brilliant.

Todd's Running Playlist:

There There Radiohead Hail to the Thief
Feel Good Inc (Single Edit) Gorillaz Feel Good Inc - Single
Ch-Check It Out The Beastie Boys To The 5 Boroughs
Obstacle 1 Interpol Turn on the Bright Lights
Blue Orchid The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan
Hopeless The Wrens The Meadowlands
What Ever Happened The Strokes Room On Fire
Banquet Bloc Party Silent Alarm
Harnessed in Slums Archers Of Loaf Vee Vee
Helicopter Bloc Party Silent Alarm
Favours In The Beetroot Fields British Sea Power The Decline Of British Sea Power
7/4 (Shoreline) Broken Social Scene Broken Social Scene
Sister Jack Spoon Gimme Fiction
Smack My Bitch Up The Prodigy The Fat Of The Land
Vertigo U2 How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
Where's Your Head At Basement Jaxx Rooty
B.O.B. OutKast Stankonia
Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) Arcade Fire Funeral
Richard III Supergrass In It For the Money
Alec Eiffel Pixies Trompe le Monde
Alison Pixies Bossanova
Wolf Like Me TV On The Radio Return To Cookie Mountain
Handful Of Billions Sound Team Movie Monster
Anti-Anti Snowden Anti-Anti
Now That You're Home Manchester Orchestra I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child
Wolves at Night Manchester Orchestra I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child
Cowbell Tapes 'n Tapes The Loon
Pitfalls Film School Film School
Australia The Shins Wincing the Night Away
Wasted Time Kings Of Leon Youth and Young Manhood
Common Reactor Silversun Pickups Carnavas
No Cars Go Arcade Fire Neon Bible
Keep The Car Running Arcade Fire Neon Bible
Bone Broke The White Stripes Icky Thump
Icky Thump The White Stripes Icky Thump
Finer Feelings Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
d is for dangerous Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare
teddy picker Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare
Red Alert Basement Jaxx The Singles
Under Pressure David Bowie & Queen
Bump Spank Rock Yoyoyoyoyo (Record-Play)
Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats Los Campesinos! Hold On Now, Youngster...
Liferz Blood on the Wall Liferz
Rize Blood on the Wall Liferz
Go Go Go Blood on the Wall Liferz
Hibernation Blood on the Wall Liferz
Living Well Is The Best Revenge R.E.M. Accelerate
Time to Pretend MGMT Oracular Spectacular
Sissy Blues The Deadly Snakes Porcella -Or- A Bird In The Hand Is Worthless [Vinyl]
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You Black Kids Wizard of Ahhhs
Boston Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
A-Punk Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
Mansard Roof Vampire Weekend Vampire Weekend
O Katrina! The Black Lips Good Bad Not Evil

"Lost"-Style Anti-Stem Cell Research Commercial

2008-10-29T22:03:00.006-04:00

Has anyone else see the Georgia Right to Life ad running the last few days? The one that I watched for about 20 seconds and actually thought was one of those faux commercials they show during Lost? I thought it was a Lost commercial!

Those fuckers. I think i even rewound the DVR to view it again.

I couldn't find it on YouTube, either. I hate trickery in advertising. But it was some funny stuff. They even had the Japanese-looking guy in the lab coat!

Five Adjectives

2008-10-28T06:40:00.001-04:00

I've thought about the "what five words describe you best?" question often, but never remember to blog about it. Then I read Pioneer Woman's post Five Adjectives and was reminded. Except that she allows nouns also, which to me kind of changes the nature of the question, so I will do one of each: Five Adjectives and Five Nouns that best describe me.

Five Adjectives
Loyal
Honest
Complaining
Independent
Questioning

Five Nouns
Daughter
Sister
Mother
Wife
Thinker

What are your five? Better yet, do you see my five nouns and adjectives as something different? Because, you know, it's all about me.

Grief and Guilt

2008-10-27T09:31:00.003-04:00

Grief is a funny thing. You think you have a handle on it, then it washes anew over you, catching you at the moment you least expect it. I finished up my breakfast, then brushed my teeth. Ready for my run, I headed for the hooks in the kitchen where we hang everything: Totes, my Grandma Palmer's aprons, keys, hats, hoodies, visor, Ipod.

Ipod.

I don't have an Ipod anymore. How the hell can i run without my Ipod, and how could I have forgotten her so easily? And of course, Todd took his with him to vote, so I am left here to drink coffee, atrophy, and mourn my Ipod once again.

And now I feel guilty for using my dead Ipod to get out of a run.

My Career as a Carny is Not to Be

2008-10-25T11:10:00.005-04:00

I am so lazy this morning. Yesterday was a whirlwind of parenting errands. Okay, that is a lie. Having the Apple folks look at my Ipod, which crapped out after slapping the pavement on Thursday's run (Oh, the sadness of running back home with no music!), at 9 am, after dropping Rollie off in the rainy carpool mess, was a me-me-me errand. After being given their sincerest condolences, I left the Perimeter Apple store (which is so less annoying and hipster-crawling than the Lenox mall store, by the way) to sit in a parking lot of rainy 285 traffic.

I made it to Lavista to pick up more aprons for the Pre-K to decorate with Little Red Hen themes, then hit the Publix across the street and pick up a cheater's shameful dessert for the Cakewalk. Got back in the car, then drove through the dry cleaners to pick up one cat puke-stained down comforter, two blood-stained zombie prom dresses (no idea how the dry cleaning goddess removed the blood from the white dress!), and one shirt that has been lying in my car to go to the dry cleaners since we moved out of the old house. I don't make it to the dry cleaners very often. All of this in the pouring rain. I looked like a drowned rat.

Made it home, changed shoes, and had a cup of coffee to warm up. Had lunch, then did laundry and cleaning out of Tiller's closet for stuff to go to consignment store, while todd had taken her to the library. Handed off aprons to Todd to give to teacher when he picked up Rollie, then headed to school myself for Fall Carnival setup. Cotton candy machine had not arrived yet, so spent two hours sitting on the stage in the cafeteria blowing up balloons and tying them off until my fingers were worn to the bone, all the while talking to two complete strangers and a parade of precocious elementary school students who wanted to bust the balloons.

Finished the balloons, then got a run-through on the cotton candy machine from the events folks. Headed back home to meet todd and the kids, then turn around and head back out for mexican (read: much-needed margarita), and then dropped back off at home to change Tiller's clothes, which she managed to pee all over in the restaurant bathroom. Tiller and i went back to the school for the fall festival. Wandered the halls with Tiller having a freakout over something scary every two steps. Finally found Todd and Rollie in the treasure chest room, switched off kids, and waited with Rollie in line to open the chest. headed back to find Todd and Tiller so that I could ditch the kids and do my time on the cotton candy machine. (Evidently, the parents of pre-k kids get the cotton candy machine duty, which is extremely sucky, unless you happen to like being covered in sugar from head to toe, while having kids and parents clamoring for cotton candy.)

Did my 7:20-8:30 shift, then cleaned up cotton candy machine. Not the most fun job in the world, by the way. Didn't see any of my cleanup volunteers, so I stuck around to help clean up the school, which looked like a disaster area. Finally knocked off at 9:20 or so, then walked back the creepy nature path through the dark wood, spun sugar probably attracting a number of animals tracking me through the night to my car.

I made it home alive, in time to change, down three beers, and watch two episodes of Fringe.

So, yeah, I am tired today. No energy. No desire to talk to another elementary-aged kid for weeks. Or their chitchatty parents, either. I am also fairly sure that I do not want to be a carny. Ever.

Also? Go Dawgs! Do or die time today! Don't let me down, dang it.

My Buddy

2008-10-23T06:36:00.001-04:00

The other day, i was listening to the radio on my television. One of those music channels options. I do that sometimes when i am washing dishes or cleaning the main floor of the house, because i get tired of the CDs in my kitchen. (You can only listen to my usuals: Blonde on Blonde, Pleased to Meet Me, and Picaresque so many times. It is funny how my recently played songs on Last.fm never actually take into account my time listening to cds in the kitchen the old-fashioned way.)

A song came on, and as so often happens in my distracted life, it was halfway over before I realized that I had known and sang along with every word, despite the fact that I don't think I had ever heard the song before. I stood at the sink, up to my elbows in dirty dishes (we are currently grieving for our deceased dishwasher), looking blankly out the window on my fall garden, and trying to pull a memory out of the ether. It came to me in a flash, a quick glimpse of my grandma's smiling face, with thick coke-bottle glasses, laughing at the piano in our old house.

My Buddy. It was My Buddy.

I used to love to watch my grandmother play the piano. She could still play, even into her 80s, and i think now that it is a lost art. Now, only the virtuosos play piano. But in her day, all young girls learned to play the piano, and standing around the piano playing songs and singing together was one of their favorite past-times. My grandmother would play songs out of the Cokesbury Hymnal. Her favorite was In the Garden. To this day, i get weepy every time I hear that beautiful hymn. I think that when I was little, I had no idea it was religious in nature, and the walking with, and talking with, and telling me that I am his own just made me feel so very loved. I never hear that song without thinking of Grandma Smith. But it was Grandma playing the songs My Buddy, and I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles that I really loved. She would sing as she played, and Lisa and I would sing along with her, following along in the songbook the words that she sang by heart, the songs she had listened to as a girl in Slidell, Louisiana and Chattanooga, Tennessee.

"Nights are long since you went away I think about you all thru the day My buddy, My buddy, No buddy quite so true

Miss your voice, The touch of your hand Just long to know that you understand My buddy, My buddy, Ooh your buddy misses you

Miss your voice, The touch of your hand Just long to know that you understand My buddy, My buddy, Your buddy misses you

Yes I do"

Grandma, you've been gone for 16 years now, and your buddy still misses you every day.

Off to See What the Wizard Hath Wrought

2008-10-21T17:03:00.003-04:00

The Wizard will be messing around behind the curtain here at Dogwood Girl, and frankly, i am not all that sure that the wizard knows what she is doing. Whatever happens, whatever goes wrong, we will most assuredly be blaming it on the Wizard. For all I know, everything here could go poof, or disappear like a rabbit in a magic hat. It is the Wizard's fault. Your coffee got cold? Blame it on the Wizard! Dog pooped on the carpet? Blame it on the Wizard! Can't find that awesomely funny photo of you and Dogwood Girl making boobs from balloons in middle school/with big hair in highschool/with Dogwood Girl at prom/passed out on spring break/passed out in college/drunk at my wedding? Blame the Wizard! Girlfriend broke up with you? That is so not the Wizard's fault; You are being a jerk. Now, go apologize. Groveling is good.

In the meantime, you can get lots of nifty updates about every little not-so-interesting thing we are up to here at Dogwood House.

Dogwood Girl on Facebook, Flickr, and Twitter.

Wish me lots of brains, heart, and courage. Maybe some luck, too.

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

2008-10-21T09:46:00.001-04:00

My Mom is now on Facebook.

Zombie Princess

2008-10-20T09:47:00.003-04:00

So, we got all zombified on Saturday night, and the kids were enthralled with the whole process. I guess we did a pretty good job, because Tiller would not kiss me goodbye when we left. And when Rollie saw me, his reaction was, "You look like a really, really not-very-good Princess."

And let's be honest, I would never make a very good Princess, makeup or no.

We are the Undead

2008-10-19T12:16:00.004-04:00

Todd, Kate, and I went to the Zombie Prom last night. It was a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness, and who doesn't like to dress up as a zombie to save boobies?

Much fun (and brains) were had by all.

More pictures of zombies here.

A Town With Church Bells Ringing

2008-10-17T08:55:00.004-04:00

This past weekend, we spent a couple of days with my parents at the lakehouse. It was cold and windy on Sunday, but we couldn't all six stay cooped up in the little two-bedroom cabin together, so Todd and I took the kids into town to play at the park. Tiller and Rollie ran around on the playground while Todd and I sat on a bench and read. About ten minutes after we got there, it came upon eleven o'clock and the church bells started ringing.

The town is antebellum, set in squares, with a university and many beautifully-restored homes. There is a small downtown area with a few restaurants and bars, two bakeries, and a wonderfully inviting coffee shop.

As I sat in the cool, windy October morning, listening to the sounds of my children squealing on the playground, and the church bells pealing out over the town, I thought, I could live here. I could live in a town with beautiful old houses, a college library, a great coffee shop, a park, and a few bars. I could live in a town with church bells helping me keep time.

And did I mention the new barbecue place? It's Pig in a Pit*. It's good. And with those church bells, you will be able to beat the Baptists to lunch.

*Link provided solely for the purpose of Jason B. seeing what a pink pig mascot looks like riding a four-wheeler.

Yes, I think I Am. Or at Least I Want to Be.

2008-10-16T11:14:00.003-04:00

Plenty of running going on here at Dogwood Girl. Okay, jogging, if you want to be really accurate. I'm certainly not hauling ass. I just set myself some distances and then my goal is to finish them, no matter how long it takes. I go as fast as my old knees will allow me to go.

And my knees are feeling the longer distances, the constant beating they take when I am out for more than an hour. Mentally, I feel great. Cardiovascularly, awesome. But those poor knees are taking a hit because of my weight. I have been trying to lose the weight for . . .well, years. I don't have unrealistic expectations that I will be my 16-year old self, but I would like to get faster. And that is what it comes down to - I will lose this weight. Interestingly, what has pushed me over the edge is not what drives most women I know to lose weight. It will not be vanity, or the desire to look better in my clothes. It will not even be that I want to be healthier, although all of those things would be nice. It will be that I do not like to lose, and God damn it, I want to be faster.

I know everyone is sitting there saying, well, why are you such a fat ass? Why don't you just cut back on what you are eating? Well, I am doing that, but it is harder for me than other people, because I've pretty much fucked my metabolism all to hell with my PCOS. But I am going to do it. And then I am going to be faster. I'm not giving up. I am tired of running, farther and longer, and not getting any faster. I'm tired of not seeing results.

I had a little reward yesterday, though. I had my blood pressure taken at my annual Gynecological exam. The nurse looked surprised after taking it.

I said, "What? Was it bad?" and she said, "No, 80 over 50 is really good. Are you an athlete?" "No," i said, "but I run pretty often."

But in my head, I said Yes. Yes, I am.

I admit it; I Gained from Todd's Tigers' Loss This Past Weekend

2008-10-15T21:54:00.004-04:00

I'm not exactly an SEC football expert. I'm also not really an expert gambler, although I do come from a family that loves to play games and wager - yes, Rollie will probably inherit his great-grandfather's dice - no, i am not kidding, and a Grandma that wouldn't let me win at Sorry!

But for fun, I decided to join the Georgia Sports Blog college football pick'em pool. And somehow, with a few unexpected wins this past weekend, I came up in the top five finishers for the week. (Two first place ties, and three tied for 2nd, so technically, i tied for 2nd.) I jumped from 258 overall, to 174. Not too shabby.

Although I do feel a smidge guilty for benefiting so greatly from the loss of my dear husband's beloved Tigers.

p.s. Brett, did you do this? If so, who are you, and how are you doing?
p.p.s. The user "Dawgter Feelgood" cracks me up.

You Know You Are In a Bit of a Rut . . .

2008-10-15T12:52:00.001-04:00

When a trip to the gynecologist sounds like a relaxing afternoon. . . .

My Running Playlist

2008-10-14T13:15:00.004-04:00

I've been running a lot lately, and getting bored with my current running playlists. Here's what's on them, in case you're bored with yours:

Living Well Is The Best Revenge R.E.M.
Shellshock New Order
The Grey Estates Wolf Parade
Blank Generation Richard Hell & The Voidoids
Power Doesn't Run On Nothing The Thermals
A Ghost To Most Drive-By Truckers
Breathe Me Sia
No Pause Girl Talk
Hands In The Air Girl Talk
Here's The Thing Girl Talk
Don't Stop Girl Talk
Konichiwa Bitches (Album Version) Robyn
Destroyer Kinks
Weightless Nada Surf
I'mAlright Kenny Loggins (bite me)
Digital Love Miracle Fortress
Long Division Death Cab For Cutie
Shut Up and Let Me Go The Ting Tings
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You Black Kids
That's Not My Name The Ting Tings
Could You Be The One Husker Du
Great DJ The Ting Tings
List of Demands (Reparations) Saul Williams
Stay Positive The Hold Steady
Right Hand On My Heart The Whigs
5 Years Time Noah & The Whale
Hold Up Girl Talk
Knife (Girl Talk Remix) Grizzly Bear
What's Golden Jurassic 5 Power In Numbers
Pavilion Velcro Stars
Secret Identity How I Became The Bomb
No Cars Go Arcade Fire
Common Reactor Silversun Pickups
Keep The Car Running Arcade Fire
I Still Remember Bloc Party
Tom Courtnenay Yo La Tengo
Beautiful Day U2
Head On Pixies
Thieves Ministry
50ft Queenie PJ Harvey
Song 2 Blur
(Drawing) Rings Around The World
Sister Surround The Soundtrack Of Our Lives
If I Should Fall From Grace With God
Feel Good Inc (Single Edit) Gorillaz
Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta Geto Boys (Kinda like to cool down to this one.)

What do you run to? For the love of god, give me some suggestions. I am bored silly with most of these.

Dogwood Girl Fears Few Things

2008-10-10T14:26:00.002-04:00

But, I admit it. I am scared of looking at my investments. I have not even peeked at them this month. I am an ostrich, head in the sand. Just the thought of it makes me feel weak in the knees, and sick to my stomach.

Have you looked at yours? What was your reaction?

Three Years

2008-10-09T09:14:00.004-04:00

Dear Tiller,

Yesterday, you turned three years old. Yes, I was too busy to write this on your birthday, but don't think for a minute that throughout the day i wasn't constantly reminded that it was three years to the day that you had come into our lives.

It is hard to look back on a year and remember all of the things that have changed in your life and ours in just one year. A lot has happened to us this year - We have lost your Meemaw, and Pop is in Assisted Living. That is very different. I am so glad that they have been a part of your life. I never knew a one of my great-grandparents. We moved this year, from the house in East Atlanta, where you came home and danced and sang your way into our lives. And boy do you dance and sing. You make up songs about any and everything, and sometimes I am amazed at the lyrics you come up with. You have discovered princesses. The damn Disney crap. (And yes, your mama cusses, too.) Princess dresses, tiaras, little plastic heels, and jewelry. You also love babies - You carry two or three around at a time, and we all pretend to take care of them, and your face just lights up when you realize we are playing along. This is the year that the dog and cats have realized that they like you - they are no longer scared of you, and the cats will sit next to you when you watch tv. Let's see - Shows you like are still Dora, and Franklin, and Max and Ruby. You like Rollie's Speed Racer cartoons on DVD. We have started making you watch Sesame Street in the mornings, just because we wanted you to learn to recognize letters when you see them. We also let you play the ABCs on starfall.com. I am amazed that you picked up using the touchpad on the laptop so quickly; I think you are better at it than your grandma.

You sleep so well, and go right to sleep at night. Well, sometimes you sing yourself to sleep, but you do not fight us when we put you down. You and Daddy and Rollie get up in our bed and read at night, and this year, Daddy started reading The Tale of Despereaux to you, and you wiggle and don't really get any of it, but i think it is pretty neato the way y'all pile up every night. I still sing the medley to you some nights. Some nights you want me to make your bear talk to you, so I do that instead. But i still love singing Bitsy, Sunshine, and Twinkle to you. I will be sad one day when I realize it is the last time I sang it to you.

We moved out of the old house in February, and we didn't have the new house yet, so we lived at the lake for a month. It was very strange living there, but you and Rollie and I explored middle Georgia, and went on lots of "adventures" where you learned about nature, and got dirty, and threw rocks at trees, and found bugs. I was glad, because I worry that you and Rollie have nature deprivation sometimes.

You have a cute room in our new house, green and pink. You are in a big girl bed, with one of the twin beds that came from the lake when Dad bought the iron queen bed for up there. Rollie has the other one in his room, but someday I'd like for you to have them both for sleepovers. Dad says that Grandma and Pop got those twins out of an old house in Macon, but I don't think they are that old.

You started a new preschool this year at a local church. You love it. You go three days/week, and are one of the oldest in your class, which means that you are a lot bigger than some of them. Last year, you called the little ones in your class "my babies," but you don't do that this year. I miss that.

One big thing that happened this year is that you learned to go potty. You wear big girl undies and once you got started, you really took off with it. It makes my life so much easier, but sometimes I miss the closeness that comes with having to change someone's diaper. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. You and Rollie just don't need me that way anymore. It is a milestone, albeit a strange one.

Another huge thing that happened this year is that you learned to swim! You are my little fish girl, and can hold your breath underwater. I was so proud of you.

We had a birthday party for you on Sunday. it was a costume party, and you were a princess. You changed your mind about five times about what you wanted to be. A rat, a dog, a princess, dora. We had black and orange cupcakes. You ate two. Guests at the party were your Johnson grandma and papaw, Lyle and Denise, Lisa, mark, and Dash. Grandma and Papaw palmer were at a family reunion. Jason and Elle came - she was a princess, too. As was Trisha. Her brother Nolan was Boba Fett. Leah and Sydney came, too. I think Sydney was Luke Skywalker, and Leah was Dorothy Gale. Charla and Julianne were fairies. Scarlett was Batgirl. Her mama was a kitty cat! It was much, much fun. We decorated the backyard and had the party out there, because the weather was so nice. We ordered a pizza later, and stayed up way too late for a school night, but it was fun. Last night was your birthday, and so we made your meal request: Mac and cheese, oranges, and green grapes. They had to be green. We had chocolate cake for dessert. You blew out the candle like a flash.

One day, if you are a mother, you will understand that women are like salmon and their bodies remember and their minds go back yearly to the days their offspring entered the world. Ten or twenty times day before yesterday, I thought, "oh, this is about the time I called Todd, because I just felt a little off," or "funny that I am in the car at six p.m. tonight. I remember leaving Rollie with Lisa and going out to the cul-de-sac and getting in the red tiger wagon to go to the hospital." It was a Friday, rush hour in Atlanta (doesn't that just figure) and your father put on a CD he had made with mellow songs on it. The song was "The Scarlet Tide" from the Cold Mountain soundtrack. Yes, I have probably written that to you before, but it still makes me laugh, and i promised your father I would never let him live it down; He put a song on about blood and death and carnage as he drove me to the hospital in labor. I remember thinking before I went to bed that it was about the time they gave me the benedryl and told me to get some sleep, that it would be four or five hours til you were ready to come out. It was only almost two, and i was so tired when they woke me up. I remember thinking, "just a few more minutes of sleep." I had done this before. I knew i would get no sleep for a long time. We had to shake your daddy to wake him up. It was five til midnight when they readied everything for you, and Ruth said if we hurried, we could have a baby on the 7th, and if we took our time, on the 8th. You came on the eighth, but just barely.

Your birth was a blessing and it was the way I imagined birth should be, and I am so grateful that you gave that to me in your coming into the world. Rollie's birth I sometimes go over in my head like a car wreck, like i do the accident that your Daddy and I had one Memorial Day, when I hit my head and can't remember a huge chunk of time. I go back to that over and over, trying to find those lost moments, and never can. I go over Rollie's birth and try to remember when it started going wrong, and how it felt, worrying it like a little hole in a blanket. But not yours, yours is just a succession of happy thoughts: Laughing with your father before you came out, the funny deer-in-headlights look on his face when I brought up changing your name at the last minute, holding you right when you came out and no one worriedly waiting to whisk you away from me, and the first time you latched on, right away, like we were made for each other.

Knowing that you were my Matilda, my daughter, just like I am Virginia's Annie, born in that very same hospital, and mama was Vivian's Baby, born in Chattanooga, and that one day my grandma was her mother Ida's baby, come into the world in Lee County, NC. I remember thinking that we are a chain, unbroken, but each a charm, dangling and flashing in the sunlight, and in the darkness, too.

Tiller from two to three years, on my Flickr.

The Twins

2008-10-07T08:49:00.001-04:00

The Twins
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Tiller discusses one of her birthday gifts, twin Cabbage Patch kids.

Sportsmanship and Toeing the Parental Line

2008-10-06T09:20:00.004-04:00

So, i know some of you are waiting for pictures from the costume party, but it is just gonna have to wait. I have a little something to get off my chest. It's called, "What the fuck is wrong with you, you sack of shit parents?"

I guess I should start at the beginning. I should mention first that I was not present for the event in question, Rollie's soccer game. It took place Saturday afternoon. His father took him to the game, while I readied our home for being descended upon by eleven costumed children on Sunday.

Rollie is my oldest, so this is my first experience with parenting a child in organized sports leagues. I played sports growing up, and really credit the experiences for giving me much of my self-confidence, and my sense of sportsmanship. I played tee ball, baseball, softball, soccer, swimming, and tennis, and even recreational basketball, at which i was pretty terrible. I am competitive and love to win, but I have never been a sore loser, and am always a gracious winner, except in drinking games, or games played while drinking (beer pong, pool, darts) where "talking shit" is acceptable, and even encouraged, and where it would never set a poor example in front of a child. I have looked forward to my kids playing sports and learning about teamwork, good sportsmanship, doing one's best, and self-confidence.

So, Rollie is playing soccer for the first time this year. He is in a co-ed, under six league. The kids range in age from 3-6 (a huge age difference actually), and they don't keep score. There are no referees, just the two coaches out on the field with the kids, giving them pointers and running the game. It is all about learning the skills, the rules of the game, and sportsmanship. Or so i thought.

Rollie definitely got a competitive streak from me. he likes to win, and we have been working with him on things like, "it is okay if you lose, as long as you give it your best" and "you can't win them all," and teamwork. One problem we have had so far this year is that not only does he want to take the ball away from the opponent, he also will go after the ball if his own teammate has it, and we are trying to teach him that he needs to work with his team, not against them.

Other than that though, we had so far had no real problems. So, Todd takes him to his game on Saturday. None of the kids on Rollie's team have played before, and there is a kid on the other team that is playing circles around the others. He also played pretty rough, throwing elbows, pulling on shirts and pants, etc. I have never seen any unsportsmanlike behavior called at these games. Either the coaches did not see this stuff, or they just let it go. So, Rollie is pretty competitive and started getting mad, and from what I can tell from what Todd said, he kind of did the same stuff, and told the kid to "stop it." Well, this kid said to Rollie, loud enough for Todd to hear, although it seems that other parents and the coaches did not hear it, "Y'all suck."

Now, as I said, Rollie is my oldest, and it doesn't take long after sending your eldest child to school to realize that they are in for quite an education. While they are learning the ABCs and 123s (or not, but that is a whole 'nother post), they are also learning a ton of really neat sayings and behaviors from the kids in their class who are not the oldest; these kids have older brothers and sisters and just aren't as innocent as the eldest siblings. They use words and phrases like, "You suck." "I'm going to kill you." And lots of stuff about shooting and guns. It is frightening the way that influences on your child are suddenly out of your control.

Back the game: This kid says this stuff, plus the other team is scoring a bunch of goals, and Rollie's team, not so much. And the team is getting pretty discouraged. Which is fine. In my opinion, it is just as important to learn how to lose gracefully as it is to win. But then Todd takes Rollie to school this morning, and one of the kids in his class was on the other team. He is a nice kid, and Rollie and he are friends. Well, his mom asks if Rollie had recovered from the drama of the game and it seems that Rollie was snarky with his friend on Saturday. (I guess out of frustration at losing, not that frustration is in any way an excuse for bad behavior.) She then proceeds to tell Todd some further stuff about the "Y'all suck" kid's behavior on Saturday. Seems as he was substituted out of the game, he came out and loudly proclaimed, either to the parents or in front of the parents, that he was "going to kick that kid's ass." We assume he was referring to Rollie. Apparently, no one said anything. At least this one parent heard the comment. Todd did not. We do not know if any one else heard it, but according to this mother, it was loud enough to hear.

I know what I would do in this situation. What would you do? Would you have said something? As a parent, do you rely on a coach to deal with these things? Is it really best to ignore it? What reason would his parents have for not reprimanding him for this behavior? Would you reprimand someone else's child for saying something like this? And what kind of a household is this child living in that he remotely thinks it is acceptable to say something like that, much less in front of a group of adults?

Am I being over-protective and raising a complete wuss of a child? Is it really so wrong to want my child to learn about respect for others, respect for adults, etc?

Most of all, what kind of a child talks like this at age six or under?

I am fuming and just mad I wasn't there to say something to the sorry excuse for parents that poor kid must have. And if I had, would i be labeled a troublemaker or a rabble rouser? And if I was, would i give a shit?

Dogwood Girl Garden. Again. Plus Cats and the Spawn

2008-10-05T07:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, Todd called me out to look at some yard work he was doing. Turns out that one of the shrubs we've been basically ignoring until it is cool enough to prune is actually a really huge fall-blooming Camellia. It has about a kajillion buds on it, and just a few blooms yet.

We spent two years at the old house, not wanting to do too much work on the place since it was for sale, but my whole being was aching to dig in the dirt. And now we are here, and we haven't done a ton to the outside yet. (Well, i haven't. I just did a small garden this spring for tomatoes; Todd did a HUGE job clearing out the ivy in the back third of the yard. No small undertaking.)

It is really fun to go through a whole year's cycle and have surprises pop up. We came in April. Since then, we've had a surprise Weigela (sp?), some shrub with a form similar to the weigela or a Forsythia, but with little white flowers on it that bees LOVE. A number of old daylilies that obviously need to be divided, but that i was just ultra-excited were there. Some kind of spring-blooming fruit tree. A cherry, maybe? Awesomely huge tulip poplars that remind me of the old Saddle Creek house. Tons of Azaleas and Hostas. Probably 6-8 Dogwoods. (Dogwood Girl's natural habitat!) We also have two birdbaths that just came with the house. And a windchime. Anyway, i was v. excited to come across the Camellia and the Pyracantha (I think that's what it is) and I am really looking forward to seeing what the winter garden presents me with - I foresee a lot of Holly and Nandina. There is a lot to be said for buying an older home and it's established garden.

Oh, and because THEY deserve equal facetime, here are my kitty cats, watching birds and chipmunks out the window today.

And a few pictures of something else i've been growing, my ultra-cute* kids. I really couldn't pick just one of these shots.

*They beat the crap out of each other in a wrestling match seconds after I snapped these shots.

Read This

2008-10-04T09:50:00.002-04:00

So, Opel is on the blogwagon now, too. He is one of my favorite people - self-deprecating, fun-loving, quirky, a dog lover, and . . . well, Opel is one of the dirtiest people i have ever met.

And now he has The Athens Blawg. Read it.

The One Time Banning Books Made Me Laugh

2008-10-04T07:59:00.003-04:00

Paraphrased book summaries, based on banned titles. Of Mice and Men, Harry Potter, and James Joyce's Ulysses are particularly funny to me.

Thanks to Baby Got Books (great blog!) for the link.

Todd, Collector

2008-10-03T17:05:00.002-04:00

So, just when I think that my very own packrattage cannot get any worse, and that Todd will probably throw me out on my derriere, God sends me this little gem. . . .

When we were selling our house in East Atanta, we put a ton of stuff in storage, just to clean it up and "stage" it so as to sell faster. (Yeah, right!) Anyway, Todd cleaned out the storage yesterday and brought it all home. We went through it, deciding what to keep and what to give away. That's when we found Todd's collection. Now, we have been carting Todd's collection around with us since we moved from the first house in EAV to the second house in EAV, and now on to the latest abode. He started this collection years ago, before we met. It is very dear to his heart, but he never shared it with me until i found it when we were cleaning out the master bedroom on Newton to paint it. Remember, Todd is colorblind and then imagine what a colorblind bachelor might do to his own bedroom, and how a girlfriend or wife might have to correct that upon entering a living arrangement with him. I digress. . .

I found it on an upper shelf of the closet, like a buried treasure, much sought after, a Holy Grail of glass(es). I give to you the Burger King Smurf glasses collection.

Yes, he has kept these since childhood. Because they are so valuable. Here is a picture of the proud collector with a fine item from the treasure trove.

Lazy Smurf. We also have Gargamel, Smurfette, and a host of others. Unfortunately, we do not own all 13.

Spider Webs, Fall Harvest, and How Dogwood Girl Knows There is a God

2008-10-02T10:31:00.004-04:00

So, I cleared out my summer garden yesterday, which involved pulling out the old plants, and reaping the last of the tomatoes, all of them still green. Tiller took this picture of Quint, who just doesn't get enough facetime on Dogwood Girl, considering he is always right there with us, no matter what we are doing around the house.

While i was working, Tiller and i found an awesomely huge spider web and spider.

The spider was not too happy when his web was messed up in the pulling of the old plants, but he was relocated into a nice boxwood and will be up and spinning in no time, I am sure.

And then there is the frying. If there is one thing I know, it is that there is a God. I know this because how else can we explain the majesty and awesomeness that is fried green tomatoes? They are a gift from God. This probably looks like fried okra to those of you in the know. . . however, they are tomatoes. That's right, i took the last of my patio tomatoes and fried them. I am sure my mom will read this and shake her head in disgust, because that's just not how it's done. But they were damn good. And I had realized that this was the first summer since i started eating solid food that i had not had any fried green tomatoes! A travesty!

Even Rollie and Tiller ate a few. Which is good, because I'm pretty sure you lose your Dunstan card if you don't like fried everything.

Well Worth Five Bucks

2008-10-01T08:54:00.002-04:00

Masquerade Flyer
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

I don't know why i kept all this stuff. (Todd probably wonders why, too.) I am glad I did now.

This was maybe 91 or 92. Smashing Pumpkins, Gish tour. Five bucks!

Ah, the glory days. I think i saw this with Brantley and da Crease.

Just thought i'd share, so my packrattedness has some purpose in the world. This cool chick who lives out west somewhere wanted me to add some pics of mine a way back to a group she adminsters on Flickr called Generation X. We are contacts and I love her kooky photographs of her dogs. Like this one. Seriously. That picture just makes me laugh whenever I look at it. Without fail.

Anyway, just made me think i should blog about this.

Dogwood Girl Recipes: Bowl of Shame

2008-09-30T09:18:00.004-04:00

Bowl of Shame is my favorite snack when I crave something sweet, which is really only when I am . . . let's see, how shall i put this so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of Natalie's husband? Let's try, "Being visited." Just like little aliens came down and possessed my body and made me eat it, which of course absolves me of the shame. But the shame, oh the shame! That is the part that tastes so good. I am sure of it.

Bowl of Shame

Ingredients

One child-size individual vanilla chocolate swirl ice cream cup
Two Pop-Tarts (I prefer iced brown sugar and cinnamon, but I know this could create much dissension in the ranks, so you could totally substitute cherry or strawberry, both of which would go great with the vanilla strawberry swirl ice cream cup, if you feel like you need more fruits in your diet.)
Peanut Butter (Crunchy is more fun)
Lite Cool Whip (Because you are, like, totally diet-conscious)
Honey

Directions

Open indy ice cream, turn over upside down and squeeze gently out of plastic cup into soup or salad bowl. (Presentation is everything, people! Extra points if you have a sundae dish!)
Break each Pop Tart in half and stick all four halves at an angle, so that they lean against the sides of the bowl, creating awesome ramps of brown sugar icing goodness sloping down to ice cream love.
Take one heaping scoop of peanut butter (i use a big-ass serving spoon to measure out the correct amount) and dump it onto the ice cream. Lick spoon clean, or let dog do it for you.
Heap one spoon of Cool Whip on top of that, so that you create a swaying, leaning tower of diabetic coma proportions.
Squeeze a ton of honey all over it (lady-like drizzling is for pussies), making sure honey is running down pop-tart sides to form a golden pool around the peanut butter and ice cream.
Sit in front of tv while watching The Hills, ANTM, or Real World Road Rules Challenge.
Sink into a physically-satisfying, but mentally degrading heap of self loathing.
Feed the children the remaining two Pop Tarts the following morning, despite your usual rule of "no junk," just to get the rest of them out of the house, and then run 3.5 miles in futile attempt to keep mountains of sugary love off of your thighs.

Completely Over It

2008-09-29T17:35:00.004-04:00

So, an agreement couldn't be made: Pelosi got pissy and started bitching about the President before the vote was taken, and then Republicans got pissy and decided not to vote for the damn thing because Pelosi pissed them off, and the whole fucking lot of them are scared to make a decision that might cost them their seats. No, this is not Days of Our Lives. It's our own American Government. And it is completely ineffective.

Part of me hates the idea that taxpayers should be expected to bail out the greedy fuckers and the stupid people they preyed on; The other part of me just wants to see our elected officials drop the partisan bullshit and work together to accomplish something, just one thing, while in office.

Either way, i hope that when it comes time, we vote every last one of these useless, overpaid, self-serving pieces of crap out of their seats. On both sides of the aisle.

Don't Go in the Marsh!

2008-09-29T08:32:00.004-04:00

I think i've written about my love for the blog written by the fine folks at the Wren's Nest. Well, Lain Shakespeare (No, that is his real name), the guy who runs the house museum and the blog, never fails to tickle the child in me with some of his posts. The latest to catch my fancy is one about Six Flags' Monster Plantation, or as it is soon to be called, "Monster Mansion." (I am pretty sure that Monster McMansion would be more appropriate for Atlanta, but I digress.)

Turns out that the original ride was called "Tales fromthe Okefenokee," and it was based on the Joel Chandler Harris stories. Fascinating! A year later they updated the ride to the truly psychedelic Monster Plantation that I knew as a child and yes, as a teenager. I wonder just how many Atlantans growing up had their first hand-holding or first kiss experience in those damp boats floating through the dark tunnels of the Monster Plantation?

Anyway, check out the Wren's Nest blog, and make sure to click on the YouTube videos they posted of Tales from the Okefenokee and Monster Plantation. Be forewarned that they might be nightmare or flashback-inducing for some. (Jason B., this means you. I think that you probably need to post about seeing The Banana Splits on your blog, please.)

Great stuff!

Dead Souls Walking in Georgia Today

2008-09-28T10:27:00.004-04:00

That was the worst half of a football game i have ever witnessed. Completely nightmarish, nauseating, and soul-deadening. I can't even really write about it. I do not even have the energy or heart or strength to think about it until maybe tonight or tomorrow.

Southern Hospitality

2008-09-26T16:30:00.004-04:00

Wow. Random Bama fan just contacted me after seeing pictures of our seats for last year's Temporary Annulment Day Game. He wanted to know what his seats look like, where to park, etc. I love that he trusts that Dawgwood Girl will get him there in one piece, even though he is the enemy. Gotta love the SEC. And the power of the internets.

Me? I'm a sweetheart. I gave him all the pertinent information, just like a nice hostess should.

Now, Kelly, you let me know what you thought of our humble lil college town. Hope you and your buddy have fun at the Tide's mother*ing funeral. Y'all come back now, ya hear?*

*I really do hope y'all have a nice time. Be safe.

What We Are Laughing at This Morning

2008-09-26T08:41:00.001-04:00

Other than Pete Carroll.

What Campaign Ads Would Look Like If the Voting Age Was Six.*

Thanks, Toddler!

I Heart Oregon State

2008-09-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

That is all. Off to bed.

Go Rollie Go

2008-09-25T15:52:00.002-04:00

Go Rollie Go
Originally uploaded by killmylandlord.

Uncle Mark was nice enough to bring his fancypants camera to Rollie's game last Saturday. This was especially nice, because Todd had gone down to Auburn for the LSU debacle, and I had both Tiller and Rollie for the weekend, a slight wine hangover from my Ya Ya Sisterhood house party on Friday night, and a cooler full of soccer snacks in tow for the game. Lisa and Mark brought Dash, and Mark watched Tills while Lisa and I sat with Dash and cheered for the Cheetah.

Yes, you heard me right: The Cheetah. That is what we overheard someone calling Rollie during the game. Except when we heard it at first, we just thought it was some Yankee calling him a cheater, and . . . well, them's fightin' words.

Okay, i didn't get in a fight, but you pretty much could see it happening, right? I would be the first Soccer Mom kicked off the fields this season for defending her five year old's honor after another parent called him a cheater. Except they were saying Cheetah. As in "boy, that kid's fast."

Anyway, here is a great shot of Rollie breaking away from the pack and headed for the goal. Not that it matters, because THEY DON'T KEEP SCORE. Yes, this drives me crazy.

Complete tangent: Not as crazy as the middle school kids at a private school where a good friend of mine teaches. These kids don't have "Field Day" they have . . . get this . . .

PERSONAL RECORD DAY.

Yep? Why teach middle school kids about gracious winning and losing, when everyone can just compete against themselves? That's JUST like the real world. Don't worry about your score on that SAT!

What the fuck are we coming to? Ridiculous.

Back on track: So, here is my kid, playing in his 2nd ever soccer game. I have some pics from the first game, and video too (highly comical - Wrong Way Corrigans, crying, standing around staring at the ball and not kicking it), but none of them came out as well as this one. Oh, and yeah, there is a shot of me and sis watching the game, but it ain't pretty and it ain' goin' on my blog; I have some dignity.

Thanks again, Uncle Mark.

Voice of My Childhood

2008-09-22T19:38:00.003-04:00

Summer evenings growing up, the Braves were always on TBS in the background. And in the Fall, Larry was on the radio. My first solid memory of him is listening to him call a Kevin Butler field goal kick, sitting in my Mom's red Caprice Classic station wagon, parked in the lots at the soccer fields across from the water tower, waiting for my soccer game in pouring, freezing rain.

UGA passed on. Larry's retiring. I'm thinking it just ain't right if we don't win a title after all of this. And I'm thinking I'm not the only lifelong Bulldog shedding a tear right now.

Stop the Brat Coddling!

2008-09-22T17:50:00.004-04:00

I really hate to judge people's parenting skills in writing on my blog (I totally prefer it on the phone with my sister while I kill a bottle of wine), but . . .well, let the judging begin.
If your child is screaming because she doesn't want to get in her car seat, and I am right next to you, waiting to put my child in her car seat, but can't because opening my door would bang in to your car door, please do not shush your child in a quiet, soothing, sweet voice, pleading with her to please calm down and climb in her seat like a big girl, as if you are talking her down off a fucking ledge. Please just put your child in the car seat, hold her down firmly while you strap her in, and ignore her cries of distress. I guarantee, she will not be harmed in the process.* In so doing, you just might show your daughter that she is not the center of the Goddamn universe, and I might might make it home before mine pisses in her pants.

If your son breaks into uncontrollable tears of terror when I ask him to please stop hitting the dog, he is not a "sensitive soul" he is a brat who has not heard the word "No" often enough.

And if your child thinks that my 4 BR, 2.5 BA house is "really small," then maybe it is your family's world view that is a bit on the small side.

*If the child turns blue, that means you might be pushing a little too firmly; ease up until she can breathe to cry again, then start over again with slightly less pressure.

So Far

2008-09-20T08:42:00.004-04:00

For those of you who know me well, you know that I have had some serious misgivings about putting my kids in the local public schools. Not because I think the kids are terrible, or the teachers, or even the administration (although I do have my concerns). It is mostly because it seems like the teachers and administrators have no way of overcoming crappy parenting. However, T and I decided that we would put Rollie in pre-K at the elementary in our neighborhood and so I will probably have a series of posts in the next months and years concerning my first impressions of sending my child to public school.

Things that I like:

The school gets a high rating on sites like great schools.net
I think his teacher is a great person, who likes what she is doing.
I LOVE how diverse the school is - Rollie is not a white kid in a sea of white faces, or even a sea of black and white only. Think Benneton kids.
Parental involvement is high.

Things that I'm Not Liking, or Am Just Downright Bewildered By

The people responsible for teaching my kid have sent home numerous memos with grammatical and spelling errors. This does not engender confidence.
My kid has learned all sorts of semi-frightening phrases, like "Die" and "Kill." I realize this has little to do with the school, and everything to do with hanging out with other kids who have older siblings. It is still disturbing. (Or maybe he reads my blog and Facebook.)
We went to a PTA picnic and the local fire and police departments were there. They fingerprinted my kids and gave us a digital photo in a little packet. We are supposed to include DNA and dental records in this also, and keep it "in case of emergency." There is no sicker feeling than watching your 2-year old getting fingerprinted so that they will have a better chance of identifying her in case of "emergency." The kids thought it was fun, but what about the older kids who realized what it was for? What does that say about the way we view our world and the message we are giving our children about our worldview?
The school sent home a sheet in my five year old's backpack, which i am supposed to discuss with my child and then have him sign. He can barely write his own name, and I am supposed to discuss Saying No to Drugs with him? That's great and all, but I'm not doing it. My kid doesn't even know what drugs are. I am not going to introduce it to him at just five years of age either. You know what I think I might do? Parent him. As in, keep enough of an eye on him that someone giving him drugs probably won't be an issue until at least, oh, Kindergarten.
One day in the carpool line, I discussed the program my son is in with another parent I met recently. Her son had the same teacher last year. I asked her what she thought about the class and the teacher, and her reply was, "We really liked Mrs.______. Bobby loved going everyday. Just don't expect him to learn anything." Ummmmm. . . seriously?

Just some things I've been thinking (read: Worrying and Stewing) about recently. Thought i would share. This parenting thing is, as I've mentioned before, fucking hard.

What Do You Want to Happen By the End of the Day?

2008-09-18T09:03:00.002-04:00

My friend Matt shared this link on Facebook, and wow, I am glad he did. It is nice to wake up in the morning and have something shake you up a little, and make you think about whether today is going to happen to you, or you are going to happen to today.

Fifty People, One Question: Restored from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

My answer: I wish that at the end of the day, everyone in the world would be true to themselves, to who and what they truly are; That we would all be comfortable in our own skin, and respectful of what other people are, too.

And of course . . . world peace.

Love, Love, Love

2008-09-17T13:45:00.002-04:00

I heart Ifixit.com. Antenna seated properly now.

Woohoo!

Also love Jason, the Belkin support guy in India, who made my mac address dealio go away.

Look at me go, with my four bars and all.

Help a Girl Out

2008-09-16T18:54:00.002-04:00

I need prom dresses. Old ones but that I can fit into (large sizes). I think i am going to have to put the pics up on Dogwood Girl and let people vote on which I should wear. Fun!

Come on, people. Help me out here.

Love,
Zombie Dogwood Girl

Hats Off to Some Fine Football Writing (and Go Ahead and Revoke My Girl Card)

2008-09-16T10:29:00.005-04:00

Yes, i am a girl, and Yes, I turned down an invitation to see Wicked with my girlfriends (and Rollie and Tiller's Aunt T) because it might interfere with football. And yes, revoke my girl card now, because i spend approximately 4 hours or so a week reading about football online.

My fave sites are:

The brilliant Every Day Should Be Saturday (EDSBS), even though it's run by Gators.
Georgia Sports Blog - I'm pretty sure Paul Westerdawg is both a Bulldog fan and a Replacements fan, and let's be honest, those are pretty few and far between. I am so down with that.
Hey, Jenny Slater. A bulldawg stuck in B'ham, I believe. Anyway this guy is freakin' hysterical.

The best part about these folks is that they shatter the whole "SEC fans are dumbasses" belief. These kids is s-m-a-r-t. And hell, EDSBS even has a girl writing for'em.

So, all of this is to spotlight a post by Doug at Hey, Jenny Slater, which is just about the most brilliant and beautiful post I've seen in ages.

I teared up a little when i read it.

Here's The Deal

2008-09-15T20:08:00.004-04:00

Remember when they asked who wants to be room mom, and everyone sat around trying not to make eye contact with anyone else? And then one person had already signed up for it, but she wasn't there, and they still needed another person, and the teacher looked right at us and said, "Which one of you is going to do this? Sign right there?"

And we stared at each other until i sighed and signed on the dotted line.

And that, that was the point where you gave up your right to bitch about how disorganized the classroom is this year.

Also? I am not apologizing for coming across as conceited when I said i was worried about my kid not being challenged enough. I am proud that my kid can read, and I was just being honest about my concerns.

One last thing: Todd is taking wagers on when I will lose it and either a) be excommunicated from PTA and asked to step down as room mother or b) yell fuck the PTA and quit.

I am betting right around the Halloween party.

Experimentation

2008-09-14T16:26:00.002-04:00

It wasn't pretty, but it was a W. I'll take it. Go Dawgs!

We had some friends over for the games yesterday and the whole thing kind of snowballed and we ended up with a before-unmet number of children running around. Scarlett and Dash were here, as usual, but then we added in Sheilah's kids, and four of the neighborhood kids and their parents. I think we had nine kids at one point. Plus their parents and some childless friends, adn wow, was it a full house. Sheilah was nice enough to bring an extra TV so the kids could watch a movie upstairs. (Not that tv-watching ever happens like that. It just blares in the background, and it never fails that one poor kid wants to watch, and then cries because everyone else won't be quiet.) And once Garrett and Kayla left and Nolan fell asleep, Rollie ended up being the only boy with five girls. A dearth of riches, for sure, what with the twins, and an older girl, and only one of the females his sister. Everyone knows what this means: Rollie Makeover. (Thanks to Lauren for getting the shot.) And yes, I am aware that we are racking up the photos of Rollie in drag. See, if he ends up going that way, we were cool with it from the beginning, and if he doesn't, we have some great blackmail photos for his teen years.

We are parenting Gods.

More of story unfolded, though, this morning. As Todd and I readied our coffee and the kids ate breakfast, the following discussion occurred:

Todd: Rollie, did I hear that you held hands with T__*? (Tiller had ratted him out a few minutes earlier.)
Rollie: [playing with his cereal]. Yeah. She kissed me.
Todd and I glance at each other.
Rollie: She kissed me a lot.
Todd and I stare at Rollie, mouths gaping open, then glance again at one another and both turn away from the breakfast table, laughing silently, shoulders shaking with the effort at holding the sound in.

Maybe there is no need to worry about the drag pictures, after all. Or, maybe we should be extremely worried about our very adventurous young hero. Maybe he's going to like to experiment.

I joke, but i don't know if I'm ready for all of this. Rewind, rewind! Rewind, Dammit!

It's not working.

*All names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

Lemonade Out of Lemons

2008-09-12T07:54:00.002-04:00

Okay, so my friend Tori, who is one of my favorite babysitters, a girl I like to drink with at Flatiron, and a great trivia team member all rolled into one has fallen on some hard times this year. What does a girl do when the work world gives her lemons? Well, she makes lemonade, of course! So, if you can help her out in her endeavor, that would be awesome. You won't regret it.

From Tori herself:

Hey there!

If you're still in Atlanta or any surrounding areas, I would like to pick up some of your most tedious, menial or just plain weird or grossest odd-jobs from here until the end of the year.

I'd hoped I can pick up at least one odd job a day or a few a week - and chronicle what I'm doing for all to see on a blog. The weirder the job, the better. I'd also hoped that I could make an average of $20.00 a day (or more) between now and the end of the year. Hire me...I'll do just about anything as long as its legal...and spread the word. I've got references, I've got time and I know you have something you've been dreading to do. Forward this message to your friends, too! Take me to the limit!

As you may know, I work as a freelance writer, designer, and in the film/tel. industry. I'm also the daughter of a pecan farmer, so I'm no stranger to manual labor. I'm down with alphabetizing, filing, cleaning, organizing, scanning photos, grooming your dog (I groom mine), reading a newspaper to Grandma, or changing adult diapers, for that matter. And let's face it, I'm a big'un, so I could stand to lose a few pounds in the process.

Why am I doing this? I guess you could say that the industry's been rough on me this year, so I wanted to try a little experiment - a somewhat down-and-out 27 year-old's take on the good old-fashioned lemonade stand entrepreneur. And, of course, I want it to be funny. Really funny, so that's why I'm hoping you'll have something bizarre for me to do. But I'm trying to make dough, too...so anything is negotiable.

I'm kinda excited about this idea. So hit me with your odd jobs!!! I'll start asap!

Thanks!
Tori LaConsay
770.608.7891
torilaconsay@gmail.com

I Pray

2008-09-11T11:18:00.003-04:00

Seven years later, and I am still amazed that it ever happened. It seems like it was just yesterday, and yet another century somehow. I wonder at the fact that I am responsible for two little lives that will never know what it was like to live in the world before that horrific day, and for whom the knowledge of an event of such magnitude will always be conceivable. My children will never know what it is like to live in the thought that it will never happen here. I know that the person I was on September 10, 2001 was not the same person who finally fell into fitful sleep late on September 11, 2001. But I'm pretty sure none of us were; A pebble was tossed into the pond that day, creating something that will touch us all, in one way or another, sooner or later.

Me and T, before

Me, pregnant with Rollie, after

I am still touched by the way our country banded together in those first few days, and I still have hope that we will be that way again. Sometimes I still have that hope.

My thoughts and prayers today are with the many, many families who were affected by the tragedy of 9/11, the ones who can't say that everyone they loved came out unscathed that day.

Yes, Annelle, I pray!!

I just don't know to whom I'm praying.

Lullaby Medley

2008-09-10T13:54:00.001-04:00

Lullaby Medley
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Tiller's rendition of our three favorite night time songs, as performed this morning on the basement hearth. These are the three songs that she refers to as "Bitsy," "Sunshine," and "Twinkle."

BREAKING NEWS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-09T16:48:00.002-04:00

Any of my peeps who work at Turner: I wanna know who the fuckwad is whose job it is to decide when to use the term "Breaking News." Breaking News used to just be for things like Tornado Warnings, Presidential Assassination, and terrorist attacks. Then along came 9/11 and now every bit of news that "breaks" is breaking news, in bold type and all caps. I'm sorry, but you idiots just left a story about the Presidential election to give me BREAKING NEWS about Lance Armstrong coming out of retirement.

This is a guy who rides a bike. Seriously? Do we really look that stupid? Stop insulting my intelligence and wasting my time. I do that just fine on my own with Facebook.

Anybody Wanna Give Me $179?

2008-09-08T15:45:00.003-04:00

If I had a spare $179 lying around, this would be totally cool.

!Outlander Graphic Novel!

2008-09-07T13:49:00.000-04:00

So anyone who knows me or reads Dogwood Girl knows that I seriously heart Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series of books. You know the Twilight series? I was pretty addicted. I am ten times more addicted to Outlander than Twilight, and these are actually smart and well-written!

Well, it seems that Gabaldon is doing an Outlander graphic novel, loosely following events in the first book, Outlander, but from Murtagh's point of view. Love me some Murtagh! First of all, holy crap. Second of all, this guy is doing the illustrations, and he looks like a great artist. It comes out next year, and so does the next Outlander series book, An Echo In The Bone. Not only that, but Echo won't be the last. Praise sweet Jesus on a pogo stick!

I just can't wait to see what his interpretation of Jamie will be. Or Black Jack for that matter. It's like a train wreck. I want so badly for it to be good, but I'm scared to look, but I can't not look. You can see some early Claire illustrations here.

Bulldawg Bounce

2008-09-06T08:08:00.000-04:00

This is just plain funny. Not great, but fun. Go Dawgs!

BULLDAWG BOUNCE - SHAMROCK

HT to Pecanne Log, whom i don't know, but read pretty regularly.

Awkward

2008-09-05T06:59:00.000-04:00

In an ongoing attempt to publicly humiliate myself, I give you one of my top five most embarrassing photos of all time.

Feathered hair, which just doesn't work on curly hair, and straight-haired moms just don't understand that. Nice sweater vest. Nice upturned collar. Nice braces. Egads. . .

At least in the outtakes below, I went ahead and laughed at myself. I am sure everyone else was laughing at me. It is just painful, and in a million years, I will never forget how much those three years sucked ass.

I triple dog dare you to try and come up with a worse photo.

First Day of School

2008-09-04T19:37:00.006-04:00

I realized on Tuesday morning, as I got Tiller ready to go to her first day at the new school, that we almost forgot to take any pictures. I really wanted to never forget to take pictures of her, what with her being the second child and all. So, we rushed around, and took a picture and a snippet of video, and then the memory card was full, even though there was seemingly nothing on it, and then Todd spent a half hour figuring out the problem, and Gee, isn't it great that technology makes our life so much easier.

Anyway, here is the video and a pic of the Tills. Notice that she is holding her new tote bag. Her school doesn't allow backpacks. At first, I was about to get all riled up, like they were worried that her bag might contain a handgun, and the tote would make it easier for Security to check her bag while they were frisking her for bodily weapons, but alas, it seems that it just makes it easier to slip her artwork in and out. Which i get. So, instead of buying their stupid ten dollar churchy bag (you want my kid to advertise for your church, you better give her an endorsement deal), I bought her the cute Target one with the record player on it. Take that, bitches!

Cat's Eye

2008-09-03T08:35:00.004-04:00

I was going to blog about Tiller and the importance of her first day of school, and all that jazz. Then Jason B. sent me his yearbook photo from Yearbook Yourself (who knew Jason could look like John Denver?), and obviously, some things just pre-empt previously planned posts.

I give you my yearbook photo, 1960:

Yeah, if I didn't have Eagle Eyes, I am pretty sure I would try to rock the Cat's Eyes. . .

Rollie's Fifth Birthday

2008-09-02T11:21:00.004-04:00

So, I already did the sappy letter post, but here's the fun stuff! We had Rollie's party at the pool. Not a lot of folks could make it, since it was a holiday weekend, but we had fun anyway!

Lightning McQueen cake, which had to be fixed when they put "Happy Birthday, Bollie" on it.

The boy eating cake.

Aunt Lisa and Baby Dash

The Chef and Chef Senior (a.k.a. My Favorite Father-in-law)

Paul, Rollie, Tills, and Gabriel

Virginia chats with Harmony and Paul, which Chase hangs.

Grandma tries to hog Luci during my Luci time.

Tiller and Rollie

Me and Luci

Me and Mama

Birthday boy in the pool, looking happy.

Me and Tills in the pool.

Happy birthday, buddy. We love you!

It's Here

2008-08-30T08:19:00.004-04:00

Game day! Oh, and my husband, the Auburn Tiger, is not a welcher. Behold!

That's Simon down there at the bottom, checking out the goods.

Wow

2008-08-29T15:00:00.001-04:00

This election just got really interesting. I can't believe that they knocked Obama's speech off the front page that quickly. Pretty brilliant move, in my opinion. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Birthday Braves Game

2008-08-28T08:41:00.002-04:00

Birthday Braves Game
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Video of Rollie showing off his new Braves hat and shirt, and talking about his birthday gift - a trip to the Ted!

It was Tim Hudson bobblehead night at the stadium. Rollie got one for himself and brought one home to Tiller, too!

Rollie thought the seats were pretty good as he settled in.

Cotton candy! (And Dad even gave him some Coke. Note: this is not Dogwood Girl-approved parenting.)

Father and son, so All-American!

p.s. College football starts today. Dogwood Girl v. excited.

Thoughts on Birthday Number Five

2008-08-27T09:19:00.002-04:00

Thoughts on Birthday Number Five
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl

Dear Rollie,

Last night, when we tucked you in, I held your face in my hands to look into your eyes.

"What are you doing?" you said. "I am looking at you so I'll remember what you look like at four years old." You thought for a minute. "I want to stay four," you said, your lower lip unfurled. I didn't know what to say to that, because I kind of wanted you to stay four, too.

You being four has been a joy and a challenge, more so than any year yet. I really thought that you at three was challenging; I had no idea that four would be more of the same.

Uh-oh. Tiller is helping me write this. About your birthday, Tiller says, "I think i am going to make a birthday present. Tiller is excited about doing the cards." Okay, she's gone.

This time last year, you were just learning the sounds for each letter. You knew all the basics, and you were starting to learn the combination sounds like "br" and "bl." You were doing so well at school, one of the two most advanced kids in your class, but you were struggling with your behavior. You struggled all school year with your behavior, and we finally made the decision to repeat you in Pre-K. At the time, you were at a little Methodist preschool, but we were moving to a new school district and decided to put you in the Pre-K there. Your old Pre-K teacher thought you might benefit from another year to learn the social skills like lining up, raising your hand when you need to speak, not interrupting, and following directions; I don't know where you got it from, but you question absolutely everything. :-)

Daddy and I struggled long and hard with the decision to hold you back, and I am still struggling with it a few weeks into the new school year, because over the summer you learned to read. You are the only one in your class who can read already, and I am terrified that you will be bored and not challenged enough. I am terrified that i made the wrong decision; I am pretty sure that this is normal for a parent to feel, but it doesn't make it any less stressful. Your teachers are nice, and I try not to judge the people who teach you when their pronunciation or grammar isn't perfect, but I can't help wondering if we are screwing up by sending you to a public school. I want to believe that good parenting in conjunction with public schools will win out and that you will be the best you can be no matter where we put you. I hope that being in a racially and culturally diverse class will teach you things that we can't teach you at home. I hope that they are the right things, but you spend as much time at school every day now as you spend with me and Daddy, and that loss of influence is frightening. I hope that one day you will read this and know that everything we did, we did because we thought we were doing what was best for you.

One of the things we struggled most with this year was deciding where to move. When you were born, we lived in East Atlanta. Daddy lived there already when we met way back in February of 1999 (the olden days). We lived there together, then were married, and bought a second house there before you were born because we needed more room. I loved that house. It is the house to which I brought you home from the hospital. It is where we brought Tiller home. We loved our babies in that house. We had to live at the lake for a month while we waited for the new house, and that was quite an experience. You and Tiller loved it.

We were sad to move, but I know we did the right thing, because you are thriving here and you have already made friends. Also? There is a pool here, and this year, you learned to swim. Your swim lessons were pretty pointless. You wouldn't even put your head under the water. But on our own time, we gave you little plastic diving torpedoes; Daddy figured out that if we made it a game, you would start reaching for them deeper and deeper in the pool. He was right, and he played on one of your strongest traits - Your love of competition. You will make a game or race or contest out of anything. Aunt Lisa said she was pumping one time and you and Tiller actually cheered to see which breast would produce the most milk. Again, i have no idea where you got this competitive streak. It is just baffling. :-)

You learned to read and swim, which are two of the most amazing and wonderful things I could imagine for you. You also learned some other things: Jumping down off monkey bars and landing on your feet. How to knock the heck out of a whiffle ball. You almost never miss. You and Daddy play ball at least once a week, and sometimes almost every day. Daddy is taking you to a Braves game tonight for your birthday, but that is a surprise. I hope it doesn't rain.

Things that you love: Shows like Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, Superwhy, and Wordgirl. You have outgrown the shows like Sesame Street and Diego and Dora. You adore Monster Trucks. Anything with cars racing; you will even watch Nascar, much to our dismay. You say you like Tigers the most, but i am hoping you are reading this with a UGA diploma on the wall. We'll see how that one shakes out. You love races. You like reading about cars and trucks and rocket ships.

Your favorite food right now is definitely Cinnamon Rolls. We only buy them for special occasions, like this morning before school.

Your growth has slowed some, but you are tall and thin. No more baby fat - you are a boy now, lithe and fast. You also have become more and more like your Papaw Palmer. In some ways, your personality is like him. Your hair is most definitely his hair. We can pour two buckets of water over your head, and it will just roll off like sheep's wool. It cracks me up.

You are goofy, and fun-loving, and you never stop talking. Sometimes i can't even think straight, you talk so much. You can dress yourself now, and that is a huge change for us. I miss pulling your shirts over your head, or holding your pants for you to step into them, but it is so much easier. You have started doing your own chores: You clear your plates and put them in the sink yourself, without being asked. You help take out recycling, get the mail, and help bring in the recycling bins and trash from the street. You are usually pretty good about cleaning up at the end of the day, which is a big help to us. You love going to the library with Daddy and Tiller to pick out books. This year, Daddy also took y'all to see Wall-E and you both sat there throughout the movie. That is a first, because in the past, taking you to movies has not been as successful. You couldn't sit still.

You and Daddy and Tiller went to Orlando and Cypress Gardens with Grandma and Papaw Johnson this year; I stayed home to be with Aunt Lisa when Dash came. This year, you welcomed a new cousin and now you are not the only boy. We also went to Panama City in the spring, Lake Lure for New Year's, and a ton of lake trips.

One other thing happened this year that I think you will want to read about when you are older. We lost your great-grandmother, Meemaw. She was old, but it was still a sad thing for us all, and it was a new experience for you and Tiller to lose a loved one. I was nervous about taking you to the funeral, but I couldn't have been more proud of your behavior there, and I know that you were a great balm to your Grandma's sadness. I was glad that we took you, and happy that you both got to say goodbye to Meemaw; She loved you both very much. I hope that you will remember, even if it is just a little bit. I never knew any of my great-grandparents, and i think it was an amazing experience for you and Tiller to know two of yours, to see your grandparents' joy at seeing their parents meet their Grandchildren. I hope that I will be that lucky one day.

I have to go make preparations for some Birthday celebrations now. It is a Wednesday, so we are having a pool party on Saturday to celebrate your birthday (no rain, please!), but tonight, I am planning your requested birthday dinner: mac and cheese. I am not even bothering with veggies! After that, we will give you a couple gifts. You are getting a Braves hat and shirt, and Daddy is taking you to the game. Ned helped out by offering up his Turner vouchers and y'all are getting good seats. I wish I could go, but Tiller turns into a pumpkin after seven.

Our life is busy these days, with school, and soccer starting up, and trying to fix up the new house, but i hope that every year on your birthday I will be able to take the time to write this letter to you, to let you know how much you have changed and learned and matured and grown over the past year.

You are five today, no longer my baby, although you will always be my baby. I now know why my Mama and Daddy still say this to me, and I no longer bristle at it when they do; if anything, I sympathize with them, because i know what it means to love you from birth, to nurture you, and to see you no longer be the helpless being you once were, to see you blossom and have thoughts of your own and question our decisions for you. I know what it means to feel swollen with pride at the same time that I am sick with the sadness of knowing you will leave and things will never be this perfect and sweet again. Raising you and loving you is the most exquisite and overwhelming bittersweet pain and pleasure i have ever experienced. I am a better person for being your Mama, and you are everything that I ever could have wanted in a son, and so many other things that I never knew I wanted.

Daddy and I love you so much and we try to savor every last moment with you, but we are also so very excited to see what wonderful things you will do with your life and what a wonderful, independent person you will become.

Love,
Your Mama

p.s. No, you are not getting a skateboard this year.

Daily Dash

2008-08-26T09:15:00.003-04:00

I feel pretty lucky to live so close to the Little Man, Dashiell. He and Lisa visited yesterday and i took a couple of decent shots of Dash and Tills together. (You try getting a 2 year-old to hold a newborn, and for both of them to look remotely close to the camera without someone's head getting dented!) Please note how much Dash is starting to look like Uncle Mark, down to the ugly orange outfit.

Actual Pictures of Me That I Don't Hate

2008-08-25T19:39:00.001-04:00

IMG_0078.jpg
Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

Here is one. There are not many.

I like that I am wearing one of my favorite hats from high school. It makes me sad that I didn't keep my hat collection, although Todd is very thankful that I didn't, and they were great hats, but not worth losing a marriage over. Woulda made a good dressup trunk for Tiller, though. That is Pop, over there on the left. Same old outfit as always; Heavy plaid workshirt (this was obviously Christmas, but he wore the same thing in summer, working in 80 and 90 degree weather) and "dungarees." I just love that word. I love that he still says "dungarees" and "brogans," and "aught" for zero. This is at the old house in Roswell. Check out that bigass tv! And the radio on top. Lisa's pink one from the 80s - there was some serious Flashdance dancing done on the parquet hallway floor to that radio. Lots of Pretty in Pink soundtrack, U2, Depeche Mode, and Violent Femmes played on it too, as I remember. That clock on the mantel is on my mantel now, and i have been meaning to post a little something about how I learned to work an 8-day wound clock. Lost art.

What I like most about this picture is that I look really happy. I think it was Christmas of my Junior or Senior year. Probably senior. I look like I was ready to take on the world. I think i was ready to take on the world.

A Few Things

2008-08-23T09:48:00.003-04:00

Talking about it makes it better.

I can't believe I have a niece who is one year old.

Todd has one week to purchase and install my new UGA flag. Sex withheld until installation complete.

My favorite movie of all time is most definitely The Black Stallion. And it holds up well to time, too. You are making fun of me, but it was Oscar-nominated for Cinematography (Caleb Deschanel, who is Zoey and Emily's Daddy, i believe) and Mickey Rooney was nominated for Best Supporting Actor. The only sad thing about it is that Kelly Reno, the kid who plays Alec, never really did anything else and ended up a cab driver in NYC. That being said, if i ever got into his cab, he would feel like a rock star after my reaction. Um, the kids and I watched The Black Stallion last night.

Britt A. from high school is purchasing a ticket for me to attend the GA Auburn game. I will explain this another time, when I don't have to drive to Montgomery for a birthday party, but know(shon) this: It does not bode well for the Auburn Tigers.

SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!

Friday Funniness

2008-08-22T17:13:00.002-04:00

longhair musician
Originally uploaded by EllenJo.

So, my all-time favorite picture of a dog in costume is Jason's pic of the Molls in her witch costume. But this. . . this just kills me.

The woman who took the picture commented on one of my photos, and so I went to go check hers out, and I'm pretty sure that she and I would get along fantastically. I mean, LOOK at what she does in her spare time.

And Natalie? This is what it means to love dogs. And yes, I'm pretty sure she kisses her dog on the lips. I would seriously make out with this dog.

Might have to see if i can teach Quint to wear wigs. But he would look more like Dooce's Chuck (ridiculous) than this, which is freakin' awesome.

This Week in Dogwood Girl

2008-08-21T08:56:00.004-04:00

Is just kinda dark and confused, and not really ready to be written about at all. Some things suck and are nebulous and I just can't put them into words without it all coming out completely wrong.

It will all come out. I just don't know when.

Just didn't want everyone to think i fell off the face of the earth. And no, no one is dying. I just got a reality check is all.

On a happier note, there is some Cecil discussion of purchasing a Waverunner or Seadoo type of thing. I will believe it when I see it. But if that happens, then all we need for the lakehouse after that is a chihuahua and a frozen drink machine.

Twinkle Dance

2008-08-19T21:59:00.000-04:00

Tiller: What are you doing, mama?

Me: Listening to music. What are you doing, dancing?

Tiller: No, I'm doing my own dance.

Me: What kind of dance?

Tiller: The twinkle dance. You pretend you are the rock and I will be the twinkle.

Me: Okay.

We dance.

Tiller: I'm the star. Between the moon. We are all there. Except Lisa. She can be on the moon.

Um, okay.

Shameless

2008-08-18T08:17:00.000-04:00

So, in the wake of all these posts concerning real folks from my real past, a friend asked me yesterday if I didn't worry about who was reading Dogwood Girl. I had actually thought about this a little after my recent posts, because the most recent writings included some folks who do not read my blog (that i know of), but whom were integral to my remembrances. For example, I don't stay in touch with all of my former Homecoming dates, but dang it, they were in the pictures, so they are damn well getting mentioned.

So, here is my disclaimer: I apologize to anyone who might have been harmed by revelations about them or their activities here on Dogwood Girl. It was really all in good fun, though. Plus, i am pretty sure that most of my readers just think you are brave souls for taking me out or hanging out with me. I'm not the sweetest girl around by a long shot. I mean, yeah, i am pretty sure that guy in high school would be surprised to know that i stared at him in 7th grade or wanted to have sex with him on a homeroom table, but i know him well enough to know that he wouldn't care that i wrote it down. Nor would my friend and his girlfriend at the time care that I lusted after her BF. (Knowing her, she would get off on it.) Sure, I revealed some crushes, but so what? I am pretty sure we all knew who was into who, and god knows, we are over it.

Sure, my husband reads Dogwood Girl, but let's face it - He knew what he was marrying when he married it. He loves me despite my loud mouth and thoughtlessness. Sometimes he loves me for my big mouth. (This love usually rises in proportion to amount of alcohol he has had when loudmouth incident takes place.) Of all the people who might object to what I write here, he is the only one whose opinion actually holds a ton of weight. And he's Todd: One of the reasons that his opinion holds so much weight is that he doesn't care what i write and he never says a word other than to make fun of something I've written. (The exception to this being anytime that I put down the Auburn Tigers, but that's just healthy SEC family dynamics, right baby?)

The truth is, I enjoy getting stuff off my chest this way, I enjoy that writing about a random memory can bring so much more back to me so vividly. I can count on one hand the number of times that I regretted writing about something on here, and those times were not that i regretted a revelation of something embarrassing I've thought or done. It was always that i wrote honestly about things that pissed me off, and sometimes people had their feelings hurt if they read about it and thought it was about them. And IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. THIS WEBSITE IS ABOUT ME, PEOPLE. That being said, I didn't like that feelings were hurt.

I can also honestly say that there are only about three times that i have ever really, really wanted to write about something on Dogwood Girl and then decided better of it in deference to someone else's feelings.

The real answer to the question of whether or not I worry about anyone from my past reading some of the far out stuff on Dogwood Girl?

Not really. Frankly, my dears, I don't give a good Goddamn.

Happy reading!