Reflections on Sickness, or She's Alive!

Bet those of you who know Lisa and me at all thought i was going to say, "cha," but no, I am alive today. For those of you who were not religious Beavis and Butthead fans, my sister and I co-opted their taunting of poor Daria ("Diarrhea, Cha, Cha, Cha! Diarrhea, Cha, Cha, Cha!") into our own term for diarrhea. As in, "Are you feeling better? Do you still have the cha chas?" I mean, really, doesn't it sound much cuter to have cha chas coming out of your butt than to have diarrhea coming out of it? Believe me. Much cuter.

Other thoughts:

• If there was any doubt about how sick i have been, just take a look at my blog. I didn't update it for three days straight. (The power of retroactive posts, baby!)
• I lost TEN POUNDS. I have been trying to lose ten pounds (and a lot more!) ever since having those infernal babies. Who knew all i needed to do was expose myself to a little Rotavirus and Voila! I'm a waif!
• I haven't had coke of coffee for THREE MORNINGS IN A ROW. No people, I'm not kidding. Todd checked. I still have a pulse.

Next hurdle? Get Matilda home from Aunt Lisa's (where she has been sent as our house is quarantined) and hope she doesn't get sick before i leave for the MOTHERFUCKING BEACH, BABY on Sunday. Keep your fingers crossed.

T minus four days and counting.