Life in the Food Web

It's good to have read this article in the New York Times on those days when you want to crate your toddler, or dose your infant with Diphenhydramine, put duct tape over both their mouths, or throw them out of a moving vehicle. I mean, yeah, i think about it, but i would never:

• Feed one while watching the other starve
• Eat my young
• Watch as one pecks the other to death
• Conceive twins that eat each other in utero (??!!!)
• Leave my children alone to fend for themselves while I go out on a date with the new male in town. (Well, what does he look like?)

I guess when compared with the mothers of all species in the natural world, I'm looking pretty good, huh? Tell that to your future therapist, you ingrates.

Oh.

Love,
Mama (Dearest)