Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Consider Yourselves Guilt-Tripped

So, I wrote here about how I was kind of scared of letting other people read stuff I've written. (By "stuff," I mean fiction. - Obviously, I am perfectly comfortable writing about my vagina, periods, mood swings, sex, drinking, desire to throw my children out of a window, etc.)

Well, I finally finished a draft of a story, and I wanted feedback, so I gave the draft to the two people I trust most in the world and asked for feedback. I received some positive verbal feedback from one of them, and requested that she maybe write some of it down on the pages and give it back to me, so that I could remember them (memory is not what it used to be) and so that I could digest them fully. I have seen nothing. This was weeks ago. The other reviewer, who shall also remain nameless, but who knows who he is, has skimmed it, felt uncomfortable that he might be the basis for a character, and told me verbally that he found parts confusing from a setting standpoint. I asked him to read it fully and write some of the contents down. I haven't seen a thing. It has been almost a month.

What the fuck, people? I put my blood and guts and heart on a piece of paper for you to mark up with a colored goddamn marker (which I would think you would do gleefully), and you don't even bother to return it to me?

I know you have shit going on. I know you are busy/tired/scared of hurting my feelings. You know what really hurts my feelings? That you must understand that this was a big step for me, and you just left me hanging. If anything says, "I don't think you are going to be much of a writer," it is not bothering to take the time to really read what I have written.

I just had to say it, because . . . well, I feel unsupported, and my feelings are hurt. Guilt trip over, but consider your asses busted out on the internet.

p.s. This doesn't get you out of reviewing the thing. I will expect the copies returned, picked apart, within the week.

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11 Comments:

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Nat said...

Waving hand. Hi!
Send it over here to me.
I'm not afraid.
I know how to do it. I've done my share of fiction/poetry/playwriting workshops and have been on both sides of the red pen.
When friends have asked me to look at their stuff I always ask if they are looking for a serious critique or validation and a pat on the back? There is a difference and I can do both-- I just need to know a head of time what is being asked of me. Only once do I think I ever truly offended someone and I really think he was juat looking to me to tell him it was genius--when sadly, it wasn't.

At any rate whoever you gave this to needs to step up and give you their critique. No work is ever perfect--especially a first draft-- and as the writer I am sure you are aware of some its faults already but perhaps were stuck on where to go and maybe even blind on other points. Being told this is only going to help you and your work.
I hope you get your critique. You do deserve that. I'd be mad and hurt too.

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Dogwood Girl said...

Thanks, Nat. This was just my passive aggressive bitch way of lighting a fire under them - neither of them is the type to purposely hurt me. They do have shit going on.

I totally will let you read it later. I am not ready yet - IT is definitely not ready yet. It was more of an exercise in letting go of it and putting it into someone else's hands. I promise i will let you read it when it is done. Or at least something i am more comfortable with. Like you said, I am aware of many of its faults (and there are many!,) but really was looking for some constructive criticism on those points that I might be completely blind on.

And I would be lying if I wasn't also looking for some validation - as in: "No, it is not the most completely horrible thing I have ever read," or "it has promise," or whatever.

I think I take criticism well, though - have learned some of that through work and hand it out liberally myself, as evidenced in the subject of this post, no? :-)

Anyway, thanks. I love ya.

 
At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, you were serious about that?

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Lyle said...

Send me a copy. I love to criticize other people's writing (just ask my wife or co-workers).

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Dogwood Girl said...

Thanks, Lyle. You and Nat are officially on the list for 2nd drafts. Also, what an honor to be reviewed by a real, live, honest-to-goodness published author. :-)

 
At 9:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all, I don't even recall you asking me to make comments on the actual story in ink? I told you everything I thought about the story, in detail. I'm sorry your feelings are hurt and I didn't live up to your reviewer's standards but next time you have a problem with me, call me. Don't put it up on your fucking blog.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Dogwood Girl said...

I love you, Lisa. I know you don't remember.

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger StephB said...

I can colored-ink with the best of them. Nat may be better on the literary and creative comments, but I can do the grammar, etc. But I bet you already knew that. . .

You know, I had an admin once who asked that I not make changes to her work in red pen (she felt it was pejorative). Do you think that I did it anyway just to be nasty because she was horrible?

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Dogwood Girl said...

Steph, that is funny. I think i would have done the changes in multiple colors. I will let you read the next one i finish. I promise.

 
At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Honey, I've always said that you have a novel somewhere inside you. Maybe it's getting ready to come out. I hope so. Anyway, when you next send out something to be critiqued by the 2 people you trust most, make sure they understand how you want it done. Sounds as if there might have been a misunderstanding.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Dogwood Girl said...

yes, folks. That would be my mom, I am guessing, trying (as usual) to smooth the ruffled feathers. Thanks, Mom!

 

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