Yes, I think I Am. Or at Least I Want to Be.
Plenty of running going on here at Dogwood Girl. Okay, jogging, if you want to be really accurate. I'm certainly not hauling ass. I just set myself some distances and then my goal is to finish them, no matter how long it takes. I go as fast as my old knees will allow me to go.
And my knees are feeling the longer distances, the constant beating they take when I am out for more than an hour. Mentally, I feel great. Cardiovascularly, awesome. But those poor knees are taking a hit because of my weight. I have been trying to lose the weight for . . .well, years. I don't have unrealistic expectations that I will be my 16-year old self, but I would like to get faster. And that is what it comes down to - I will lose this weight. Interestingly, what has pushed me over the edge is not what drives most women I know to lose weight. It will not be vanity, or the desire to look better in my clothes. It will not even be that I want to be healthier, although all of those things would be nice. It will be that I do not like to lose, and God damn it, I want to be faster.
I know everyone is sitting there saying, well, why are you such a fat ass? Why don't you just cut back on what you are eating? Well, I am doing that, but it is harder for me than other people, because I've pretty much fucked my metabolism all to hell with my PCOS. But I am going to do it. And then I am going to be faster. I'm not giving up. I am tired of running, farther and longer, and not getting any faster. I'm tired of not seeing results.
I had a little reward yesterday, though. I had my blood pressure taken at my annual Gynecological exam. The nurse looked surprised after taking it.
I said, "What? Was it bad?" and she said, "No, 80 over 50 is really good. Are you an athlete?" "No," i said, "but I run pretty often."
But in my head, I said Yes. Yes, I am.
Labels: My Competitive Nature, PCOS, running
posted by Dogwood Girl @ 11:14 AM
4 comments
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4 Comments:
Oh, you're an athlete, admit it! Next time someone asks, say yes. I am not a particularly fast runner either. But last year I trained with a friend who is considerably faster than me. I shaved a full minute per mile off my time (am I saying that right?) I was pretty happy about it. So, you know any fast(er) runners you can run with?
yeah, I don't know that many runners, actually. I mean, not close to me. I have definitely been pushing myself, and the weight is an issue. My lungs can take it, my joints can't. Very frustrating.
Good idea, though. Maybe start running with someone faster.
Yes you are!
Hey, what am I, chopped liver?
I've found that the longer my runs got, the faster I was in races. That's just me, but I'll bet you are the same. : )
Steph, you are definitely an athlete - no question there. You compete regularly. And you are definitely my friend, a faster runner, but not that close to me. It is awesome that you and Nat are close enough to each other to train together. I am definitely on the lookout for someone like that around here, but having just moved, I am still just meeting people. I did meet a girl at Bunco months ago, who is a runner, but can't remember her name, so I need to go back to Bunco and seek her out.
Also, I have seen a difference in my shorter run times as my long runs have gotten longer. . . Just not a huge difference. I think if I was losing the weight, it would be more drastic.
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