There is No Fucking Santa Claus

Okay, I realize I am way behind on this. It is old news, but it is so completely offensive to my sensibilities that I must comment on it. Todd and I don't make it out to the movies much any more. Babysitters are hard to come by, and so usually we will see something on our own while the other watches the kids. We watch a lot of stuff on NetFlix, but are usually pitifully behind on watching new releases. For example, we just saw The Chronicles of Narnia last night. I have been looking forward to seeing it for a while now. The Narnia Chronicles were among my favorite books as a child, and after the success of childhood favorite Lord of the Rings becoming a film, I had high hopes. I couldn't have been more disappointed.

I am assuming that if you wanted to see it, you would have done so already, so i am going to go ahead and tell you: They put a fucking Santa Claus character in the movie. I have nothing against Santa. I rather like Santa when it comes down to it. But there is no fucking Santa Claus in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe! Todd mentioned that maybe they wanted to delay revealing Aslan to the viewer, but as he pointed out, did they have to use a Santa to give the Pevensies their gifts? Couldn't the fucking badgers do it?

Or, better yet, maybe the fucking arrogant assholes in Hollywood could realize perfection when they see it and not bother mucking it up. Does anyone actually think that they can improve upon the story-telling of C.S. Lewis? At least Peter Jackson showed proper respect for Tolkien when making his films. He couldn't include everything, but he didn't make random shit up to add to the film.

I think I speak for millions of Narnia Chronicles readers everywhere when I say that the makers of the film RAPED THE IMAGINED WORLDS OF MY CHILDHOOD.

You fuckers.