A Few Things I know

• My mama tells a good story.
• Coming from a long line of alcoholics makes for a much more interesting family history.
• Hearing that your distinguished ancestors broke their faces, pissed themselves, and liked to sing when they got drunk makes it feel like you are honoring them when you make an ass of yourself. You just don't play the piano as well.
• When I stumble and hesitate when choosing between dropping the baby and dropping the drink, I now know that I come by it honestly.
• Do it yourself hysterectomies are hysterical. Get it?
  
• Taxi drivers make excellent drinking partners.
• There is not much that Grandma Palmer, Aunt lessie, Aunt Dot, or Dad wouldn't say. I guess I come by that honestly, too.

This barely breaks the surface. I am having a blast writing all of this down.* Word count creeping ever higher.

*Don't worry, family. If it ever makes the light of day, I will change names to protect the [not so] innocent.