Word to Your Mother: The Payoff

For anyone who hasn't heard, parenting is HARD AS FUCK. It is a thankless job that one does solely as a labor of love. You don't get bonuses, or pats on the back, or high achiever cruises or trips to Hawaii. It is like working in a customer support job where YOU NEVER GET TO LEAVE. You live with little tyrants, and you cherish every second away from them. Time becomes more precious than you ever imagined it could be.

In the beginning, you question your sanity and your fitness as a parent, and you wonder what the fuck you have done to your life. There is no return on your effort whatsoever. The little ones only sleep, cry, piss, and shit. Oh yeah, and eat. Every.Two.Hours. Then, one day you realize that the little one is actually watching you, paying attention to you, and recognizes your voice. Finally, FINALLY, she looks at you and she smiles. And all those long, tired days, and sleepless nights become not quite so bad, and they are fuzzy in your memory, instead of stark and bright and isolated, as they really were.

As the kids grow, month by month, it is still HARD AS FUCK. But you start to realize that there will be little payoffs along the road. That just when you think you can't take it anymore, the manipulative little ones will throw you a bone, and you are refreshed, and made confident in your parenting abilities once again. I had one of those moments this morning.

My very most important goal as a parent has been to teach my children to read, and to teach them to LOVE to read. I truly feel that literacy is the stepping stone for happiness, and success, and even greatness. It is, in my mind, the single most important gift one can give to their children. It was certainly the greatest gift my parents ever gave to me, and it is a gift that can never be taken away once it is learned.

I started reading to Rollie from day one, and sometimes reading to a 3 month old just seems pointless. They don't really even look at the pictures. Sometimes they do nothing but grab the book and chew on it. I wish i had a dollar for every book that Rollie has destroyed. (Much to my dismay - I LOVED that Big Red Barn book. We don't destroy books, buddy!) It is, like much of parenting, one of those blind exercises we repeat, over and over, until we are blue in the face, with no sign that it is having any effect, whatsoever. But over time, you realize that they are enjoying that time together, and that they are enjoying it, too. The kid starts picking up books and playing with them. they start pretending to read them. Then one day, you realize that they have learned the names of some of the letters. You start prompting them to tell you the name of a letter when you point to it. Soon, you realize that they know every letter in the alphabet. They start reading the letters in books. When I am reading, Rollie started coming up to me and pointing at the book and saying, "Letters." I would say, "Yes, lots of letters. Letters make up words, and words make up books. An example of a word is, "Rollie." Rollie starts with the letter 'R,'" and so on. All of this, as usual, is said as if in a vacuum; You never know if they are understanding any of it, much less listening to you at all.

This morning, Rollie and Todd were eating breakfast on the couch, while i nursed Matilda. Rollie's Magnadoodle was lying on the coffee table, and he pointed to the word Magnadoodle, and he looked at Todd, and he smiled, and he said, "Word." This one payed off big. I am bursting with pride. I am doing a decent job.

[Pats self on back.]