A Few Things I Learned this Past Weekend
[Lisa, and anyone else who is familiar with it, please cue Urban Cowboy soundtrack in your head.]
* Beer upon beer upon beer + free Patron shots = Big headache + much shenanigans.
* Damn, I look good in a real cowboy hat. Not that straw shit, either. I mean the sweat-stained, dark, cowboy-like-John-Travolta, Texas cowboy hat.
* My husband can ride a mechanical bull. So can all the other Auburn boys. And a few of the girls.
* Cowboys are hot, even if they aren't that hot. If you ask them, "How'd you learn to ride the mechanical bull like that?" they reply with a laughing look: "I ride real bulls." Women swoon.
* I think I may have done something dirty with a sprinkler on Saturday night at around 5 a.m. Actually, I remember the sprinkler. The sprinkler and I were on our best behavior, despite some unsubstantiated reports otherwise; it's everything that came after the sprinkler that I'm a little fuzzy on.
* Despite rumors of sprinkler sex, I am more modest than I thought; Evidently, I was the only girl in East Alabama on Saturday night who wouldn't ride aforementioned bull because of wearing a skirt. I know. East Alabama is probably not the gold standard, but admit it, you all are reading this and thinking "I cannot believe that she didn't ride that bull." I wanted to ride the bull. I will never go to Alabama again with a skirt on, for fear of coming across a bull that I might happen to wanna ride. Cause I'm a lady like that.
* My Mama is right: I can drink too much, or I can stay up too late, but I cannot do both (well).
One reason that I have been slow to post of late is that my Internet has been sloooowww, too, and I like to illustrate my points with pictures and video (such as Todd riding the bull), but I sit around and pray and pray that God will increase my internet connection speed and he just isn't listening. I am just kidding. I don't pray for internet speed. That is silly.
Wish you could see the boys on the bull, though. I will try to post more. I promise, Nat.
Labels: Auburn, Dogwood Girl Did Something Ladylike, Drinking, Mama, Me, Mechanical Bull, Sprinkler Sex, todd, When in Alabama
posted by Dogwood Girl @ 7:52 PM
21 comments
Subscribe to Dogwood Girl 
21 Comments:
I see, tekilya. That explains everything. Glad it was just that and not something serious.
I feel your pain with the internet connection. I get insanely angry when mine isn't working properly.
Sadly, the internet connection is more debilitating than the hangover, which probably says something about how I drink too much, but oh well.
If anyone here reads my blog and sees nat's comments and you don't know her, she is awesome. Last week, she was just a girl who runs fast and long. Now she is also a Triathlete. Go Nat!
It is funny that this latest post caused "Mechanical Bull Rental" and "Mechanical Bull Ring Tones" to come up in my Google ads. Never thought that would happen in, like, well . . ever.
You would have ridden that bull if I had been there. We could have ridden it together! Skirts be damned.
Sissy was cool.
Congrats, Nat!!
Now I've got Bull riding contests in the Ads. . . .
You are right. Sissy's woulda done it. Some people did ride together, actually. Funny.
I can't believe you didn't ride the bull. Skirt, schmirt. It's not like you weren't wearing underpants or was that the problem?
I'm glad you are back. I missed you last week.
Steph, do I need to spell this out for the whole internet? I already felt bloated (started period yesterday - yay!) and i was wearing bright pink underwear, and . . . people fell off the bull. I was not going to let someone take a picture of me with my skirt up over my head. Maybe if i was in love with my ass again. Maybe then. But not when I felt fat and bloated and hadn't shaved the wookie since Hilton head.
I understand about the bloating. You didn't want to do a Mary-Katherine Gallagher with the unshaven wookie, either.
wookie? wow, i just learned a new word today. I thought that was only the name of chewbacca from star wars.....
Holy crap them are some entertaining comments.
Where to even start?
Thanks for the shout out and kudos!
I totally would have ridden the bull in a skirt too but also only if I had cute panties on, trimmed wookie and no dot. And ugh, I got the worst visual from the "not having shaved since Hilton Head" comment. Whoa.
At any rate it sounds like there are some ladies (and I guess I am using that term loosely) that are in need of finding a mechanical bull in the ATL. I personally can't think of better idea for a girls night. . .
Dorothy, unfortunately, if you hang with us, you are gonna learn some words that you might not have really wanted to learn. You will also be hanging w/the lowest common denominator.
nat, Agreed about the fact that it wasn't so much the skirt as the bloating, panties, wookie. I guess I ain't that modest after all. But then neither are you - i seem to remember a particular alleyway in Hilton Head. That's all I'm saying.
I am totally in for the bull-riding, but only if my sister is coming and we all dress up like we are in Urban cowboy. OMG. I am so wearing my Frye boots.
I have ridden a bull. Doug's sister's bachlorette party and Kristen Boegner drove my drunk ass home. I didn't last long, even though I was convinced that I was tough enough not to fall off like those other sissies.
Okay I *think* I remember hearing that Wild Bill's in Alpharetta has a mechanical Bull. We can all meet at tara's and have Dusty drive and pick us up.
Oh, yeah. I am totally not modest. I don't even have to be drinking to show people my panties.
Wild Bill's huh? Steph, where did you ride the bull? Kristin Boegner - I never knew her, but knew her brother.
What the heck is Wild Bill's? I am all for farming out the kids and spending the night at Tara's and going out in the boonies and making dusty drive. Who's in?
Cowboys. Home of the swinging bar lights and low-cut waitress blouses.
my first experience with a true Auburn girl was when I was hanging out at Drunk Creek(local swiming hole) in Lotchapoka, AL and I burp way too loud for public and excused myself. This young lady said, "hey dont go apologizing, we aint proper, we've all had sex in these woods". I believe that is when I became a resident of the state.
She sounds classy!
well, she didn't have sex with a sprinkler or anything, but we liked her.
I think Sprinkler Sex is more of a Georgia thang.
Annie - here are some other things you and you're fans can learn about. Check out my new site. I want to believe...8-)
Post a Comment
Tell me 'bout it, Stud. . .
<< Home