Things We Should Have Learned By Adulthood
I went to the gym Thursday. I didn't want to, because I have this stinking sinus cold thing, where my head hurts, and my snot is a nice, thick, brown-green, and when I turn over in the bed at night, I feel the air pressure in my sinuses changing and it makes a popping noise that keeps me awake. So, I took medicine, that day-time cold medicine, that doesn't really make you feel better, it just makes you feel different in an "Is my head vibrating?" kind of way. Anyway, I wasn't really in the mood for it, but I hadn't been all week for the same reason, and I wasn't dying or anything, so I went and I walked two miles. I had to walk two miles, even though I forgot my IPod, and exercising sucks when I don't have music. When I found out I didn't have my IPod, i thought about just grabbing the kids out of the nursery, packing them back in the car, and going right back home.
I didn't do that, though, because when I brought the kids into the nursery in the first place, the same Goddamned well-meaning nursery worker who said it the last time after I had Rollie, and not right afterwards either, said to me:
"How are you and the baby doing?" she says.
I stare at her. I look at Rollie, then at Matilda, who is quite obviously a toddler now. I look blankly back at her. Then I realize.
"I'm not pregnant." You fucking dumbass whore.
So, even though I didn't feel like working out at all, and much less after her thoughtless blow to my self-esteem, I got my [fat to the point of looking pregnant] ass on the treadmill.
The moral of this story, in case you somehow don't know this one, is the following:
UNLESS YOU SEE A BABY'S HEAD COMING OUT OF SOMEONE'S VAGINA, DO NOT ASSUME THEY ARE PREGNANT.
One simple rule that will serve you well.
Labels: Body Image, Dumbasses, Exercise, I'm Pissed, The Sickness, weight
posted by Dogwood Girl @ 2:34 PM
9 comments
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9 Comments:
You. You are a goddess. If only you had said that to her.
Thanks. Nice thing to hear on a Sunday a.m. Next time maybe i will say it.
Wow. This woman is an idiot. I'm so sorry.
Good for you for getting to they gym despite the sinuses.
Yeah, I didn't do too much once i got there, but at least i went through the motions.
I think I once asked a woman at church if she was pregnant (when she wasn't). Of course, I was like ten years old at the time. Now I know better and merely wonder quietly to myself.
Thanks for the card, BTW! Rollie has excellent penmanship. Give him and Tiller a big hug from me.
Lyle, you are one of the good ones - your mama trained y'all well. Glad you enjoyed the card. Rollie enjoyed the signing of the card. We also made a production of walking the card to the mailbox. Then we watched for the mailman all day. Since then, he keeps on asking if the mailman took the letter to Uncle Lyle. I will let him know it was received.
I cannot believe she did that to you again! Anne, I'm beginning to think this woman just says that to everybody. As Owen would say, "She's a little slow."
Bitch. I swear those nursery workers are just bitter. I think they do crap like this on purpose The one at my gym told me I had like, "the cutest pot belly ever!" She is like 3 sizes bigger than me and puts my pot belly to shame but whatever. It was exactly what I wanted to hear after my hour and half workout.
And, you don't look preggars, btw, at all.
Pot belly???!! You do not have a pot belly. I have seen you in a bikini, and yes, I was looking at your body, and you look awesome. You do not have a pot belly. That makes me think maybe you are right and they really are just fucking with us.
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