Smart Cookie

Husband goes out of town and, in excitement over evening of unadulterated control of television, Annie drinks a complete bottle of wine over the course of the evening.

Very with it this morning at 7 a.m. when son pooped on potty (so proud!) and then came in and asked me to wipe his butt. Who needs coffee?

Waiting for nap time. For me. I need a nap.

I thought that I had learned that, as my Mama says, "The wages of sin are not always death." For the non-Southerner, I believe that translates to "Don't drink a shitload when you have to get up with two kids under four the next day."

8 Mile

I did it. I ran eight miles. That is the farthest I have ever run in my life. I planned to do it outside, but the weather was threatening thunderstorms, so I relented and agreed to do it on the treadmill at the gym. I get so fucking bored on the treadmill that I want to die, but I just told myself that I had to do it and if I didn't, i would be disappointed in myself. Somehow, either the self-induced guilt trip worked, or I just had one of those "magic" running days where it just isn't that hard, and anything seems possible. I was really tired, and it was hard, but I just took two miles at a time, and it wasn't that bad.

Sure, the no hills and lots of AC probably made it easier, but the thing that I am starting to realize is that the most important element to this running thing is the mental element. I just had to tell myself that I could do it, and that, to borrow from that sage poet Eminem, "you can do anything you set your mind to."

Total time for the 8 miles: 1 hr 34 mins 44 secs. (11:51 pace)

Oh, and according to my little calculator I use to map my routes, running 8 miles at a 12 minute pace adds up to about 1000 cals burned. That's, like, ten light beers.

This is Sad

So, CBS is going to air video games tomorrow. Like, instead of sports. So, there actually is something more frighteningly indicative of the laziness of our culture than hordes of children (and men) sitting around repeatedly tapping keys and staring at a rectangular box for hours on end; Hordes of men and children sitting on a couch watching other people sitting around repeatedly tapping keys and staring at a rectangular box for hours on end.

This is so fucking sad.

Afternoon Surprise

Not to be confused with Afternoon Delight.

My sister was bummed out about various life stuff and so she came over to destress. Why you would come to the home of two kids under four to destress, I have no idea, but she is a strange cookie.

Anyway, I never even ate breakfast, and then she had me convinced that I should drink a margarita with her, before I had even had lunch. She really had to twist my arm. Ended up having lunch, two margaritas, and hanging out all afternoon in the backyard with the kids, and the two dogs. (She brought her new pup, and once again, I forgot to snap a picture of her.)

The best part was kicking the soccer ball with Rollie. When you have a baby, you just never really let it sink in that they will grow up, start talking, and be able to kick a soccer ball with you in the backyard. It was a little surreal - Just me and the boy, kicking the ball back and forth and talking and laughing.

Might have been the margaritas, but I think it was more that he is just growing into such a nice little boy. Into someone that in twenty five years or so, I might actually be friends with.

Taking Me Down a Notch

A funny thing about kids is how they take you down a notch, at just the right time, usually when you are feeling really good about yourself.

Yesterday, rather than do my usual run, I decided to do a little test of myself. My friends Natalie and Steph are both running the Hansgrohe Triathlon in a couple of weeks, and I had thought about doing it, but decided that I was taking on too much too soon and declined. I have always wanted to do one, because I love swimming and because I get bored easily, and I think training for three sports sounds a lot more fun than training for only one. In fact, before Nat and Steph decided to do this one a couple of months ago, I was already eyeing one for either May or June of next year (there are a couple that time of year just for beginners). In preparation for that, I had already starting swimming and biking on my cross-training days in my run schedule.

When I found out they were doing this one in August, I was so tempted to try it with them, but I am pretty glad that I decided to wait until next year. Travel, knee pain, and a host of other engagements between that time and early August would have made me a basket case. That being said, I have been following their training and getting very excited for them. Their last couple of posts have been about estimating their times in the race, based on trials they did in the last few weeks.

Well, I have many flaws, and one of them is a highly competitive nature; I haven't met many games, matches, fights, or challenges that I didn't like. Obviously, this can be a good thing at times, and it is not to say that I am not a graceful loser, because I am. One of the many lessons learned by playing sports as a kid is that there is always someone better. (I wonder at those professional athletes who are so good that they never had to learn this very valuable lesson.) But I really don't like to lose, and I love the act of playing, racing, and meeting in competition. (By the way: One thing I do not like is to be chased, as in a game of Hide and seek or Kick the Can. It scares the bejeesus out of me, even if it is just a game. It is right up there with snakes, flying, and wet paper.)

An interesting thing about running was that I first took it up to a) lose weight and b) to give myself some competitive goals to shoot for, because I so miss the competition that I was constantly experiencing growing up. I am mentally a better person when my body is physically worn out. Odd but true. As I ran more and more, though, I realized that I was slowly morphing into a more competitive runner. I am not a good runner when compared with those who have been doing it for years, or people who are in tip-top shape, but I am slowly and surely beating my expectations for myself; I am improving.

Anyway, the point is that I saw that they were testing how well they were going to do in this triathlon, and I immediately felt the need to know a) if I could even finish the distance and b) what my time might actually be. So, when I got to the gym, I did the distances required to finish the sprint triathlon that they are running in August.

I didn't push myself as hard as I could have, because I didn't know how my legs would react to it on the run. I definitely could have done the swim faster. By the bike, i was worried about the run, so I put it on random hills, level 8 (because I remembered that is what Nat had done, I believe) and took it pretty easy, not remotely doing it at top speed. Also, riding a stationary bike is, frankly, fucking boring. I got distracted from my mission, watched a little Oprah, and forgot to push it very much. It didn't matter that I took it slowly, because either way, my legs felt like i was wearing concrete fucking ski boots by the time I got to the run. That first half mile was sucky beyond belief, but after that, the legs seemed to come back to me and I actually ran pretty well.

My results:
Swim - 400 yds - 7 mins 49 secs
Bike - 13 mi - 39 mins 50 secsRun - 3.1 mi - 35 mins 02 secs

Steph posted a link to a site that calculates your estimated triathlon time based on time trials and your weekly training mileage. I could barely figure out how to use the thing (what the hell is a 20 minute time trial, and are they even talking about the bike?), and I haven't really been training or keeping up with my biking or swimming mileage, but this is what I came up with. I plugged in my above times, except that for the bike, I had to figure out at what speed I could do 20 minutes of biking, based on how fast I did the 13 miles. (Why don't they just have you bike the 13 miles and put that time in?) I put in the minimal allowed training mileages.

I came out with a final time of: 1:37:15. Not exactly on par with Nat's or Steph's estimated times, but then I didn't expect to be on par with them - they run ridiculously fast compared to me. Evidently, the calculator also adds time in for the transitions, or something.

I really wasn't shooting for a particular time. I really just wanted to do the distances and see how it felt, if it was harder or easier than I thought it would be. Mostly, I wanted to know that I could finish it. I learned both that I could pretty easily finish, that I have a lot of room for improvement through just giving it more, especially on the bike, and that my ability to improve on the run would vastly improve my finish time. Running is definitely my weak link - there are people who run 7 and 8 minute miles and I am still doing more than ten minute miles. And then there is the weight. I need to lose at least a good 30 pounds. All in all, though, I kind of like the idea of having plenty of room for major improvement. I also looked at the 2006 results for the triathlon they are doing, and I was a little stunned to see that I was right around in the middle of the times. I could do this, and not come in last. I could do well. So, of course, I am a little bummed now that I'm not doing it, but I'm just telling myself "think how much better I could be in another eight to ten months."

I was pretty elated when I got to the restaurant for dinner afterwards. Todd had an after-work drinks thing, and I decided I was too tired to go home. We headed over to La Casita, where i ordered a modest, weight-watcher's friendly meal, and a beer (not so WW-friendly, but light!) The kids ate their weight in beans and rice. I was feeling good, full of endorphins and accomplishment. I knew that if I wanted to do the triathlon, I could do it, and that I even had a base time to work from and strive to beat. I looked forward to taking the kids home, giving them baths and putting them to bed, and then showering and lounging on the couch, making love to Tivo and a couple more beers.

I paid the check, stood up, downed the last of my beer, and took Tiller's hand to help her down the step on the patio where we were eating. As we came down to the lower level of the patio, she pulled up, stopping in her tracks. Then she projectile-puked all over the patio floor, with about six patrons looking on and in smelling distance. Like I said, just when you are feeling good, kids know how to take you down a notch. Fucking awesome.

New. Favorite. Band.

From an interview with Band of Horses' Ben Bridwell on Pitchfork.

Pitchfork: Is there anything else that you want to get off your chest?

BB: College football starts in about fifty days.

Pitchfork: You're not soaking up the baseball season?

BB: I am, actually. We haven't been near it. When we were in Seattle for those three weeks I got to watch some Mariners games.

Pitchfork: So the M's are your team?

BB: Yeah, the Mariners are my favorite pro baseball team, and the Georgia Bulldogs are my favorite college football.

Holy Shit. And more:

Bridwell, the songwriting force behind Horses' acclaimed debut Everything All the Time, lives in a ranch-style home that will soon be smartly appointed with Georgia Bulldogs football memorabilia. He's just moved in, so only the oblong G doormat is in place. A framed photo of the all-white English bulldog "Uga," wearing a red t-shirt and performing a leaping chomp at a nervous Auburn wideout from the end zone sideline, sits on the hearth waiting to be hung.

And also:

They serve micheladas-- cold beers with soy sauce, Tabasco, and half-limes.

Dear God. This might be love.

Okay, I really liked Band of Horses already. (They were number one on my Top Ten of 2006 list.) But the convergence of good music and SEC football fandom (and my Bulldogs, no less!) really gets me excited in an altogether freaky way.

Thanks to Todd for recognizing this momentous item, giving me the heads up, and being okay with me daydreaming about watching football with Ben all day and then going to watch Band of Horses that night. I will try to make said daydream include a victory over Tech or Florida, rather than Todd's lil' tigers. I'm nice that way.

A Sad End to an Idyllic Aerie

Things came to a sad end here this morning. A few years ago, we planted Evergreen Clematis at the base of our porch, and trailed the vines up the pillars and along the edge of our porch roof. As evidenced by the name, the vine is evergreen, giving us green foliage right out our window, all year long. The Clematis blooms, with big white flowers, once a year, for an all-too-brief period of time.

The plus to this Clematis has been the unexpected families of birds who have set up shop in the vines. Clematis is strong, and it is strong enough to hold a nest where it runs across the corners of the porch. At one time, we had three nests, all bustling with birds. Okay, it isn't all zippity-doo-dah; The birds occasionally swoop at us as we try to get in our front door, but it has been more than worth it to hear the babies chirping in their nest as we sit in the rockers on the porch at day's end.

This morning, as Todd was leaving for work, and I was being roped into a game of trains with Rollie, Todd knocked on the window from the porch, a disappointed look on his face, and then pointed down at the porch floor.

"The Birds?" I asked?

Todd nodded. He held two fingers up.

Just Saturday night, Todd and I were sitting on the porch, having a couple of beers after the kids went down, and before Todd went out to see bands (lucky bastard). We sat in the fading light, and as we did, a bird kept swooping in the side of the porch, a worm in its mouth, then flying back again to sit on the fence next door. She would sit there, trying to look nonchalant about not being able to get us to move. We took pity on her and moved to sit on the porch steps, away from her nest.

It wasn't readily apparent what happened to our birds. The two babies were just lying on the ground, and they had been there long enough that the ants, who also live around and in our porch vines, had come to take what was there, swarming all over them. There was no sign of Mama Bird. My heart hurts for her. I wonder if she has moved on, this once idyllic aerie no longer holding any joy for her.

We brought Rollie outside to see the scene, and talk about what happened to the birdies, and how they are going to Bird Heaven, where they can fly fast and forever, without having to come down for a rest, where the worms are plentiful, and the nests are safe.

Playing Catchup

I had no idea so many people actually READ what I was writing here, and I have been scolded up and down numerous times for not keeping updated. So, here goes. This will probably be very scattered and random, just like I have been feeling lately.

Huntsville was fun, and I think my Cat-in-Law, Oscar, is probably out of therapy after living with the two Dementors for a couple of days. Hopefully, my SIL is also recovering from the nasty virus we unleashed on her. That will teach her to take us to the E Coli-infested Rosie's Tacqueria! My only disappointment with the trip was that it rained every afternoon after I realized there was a cool-sounding hiking trail just minutes from their house, and I never got to check it out. Kudos to Madison, AL for setting aside what sounds like a lovely greenspace.

I am still enjoying what any sane person (read: Non-History Nerd) would find the very boring, The Stevenson Story, a history of the town of Stevenson, Alabama. If only every county I am researching had commissioned such a thorough and engrossing history of their area. Most fun discovery: Early pioneer ancestors - Total rolling stones! Lived in four states! Least heartening discovery: They totally stole that land from the Indians.

Uh, let's see. When last we left off, I was leaving for Hilton Head with the other Moms. You can read Nat's very detailed summary at The Negative Split, but let me sum it up. Margarita, beer, sun, vodka, raw oysters and steamed crab (Dad, you were right: I am still going to eat crab, even after watching latest guilty pleasures The Deadliest Catch). 80's music, dancing, drunk dialing (not me!), tequila rape (if Nat ever approaches you with a coffee cup and a lime, run for your life), puking hangover, recovery, turkey sandwiches made the right way, US Weekly, choked-down first beer of the second day, and uh, trivia and psychology do not mix. I am the Queen of Fraggle Rock, motherfuckers! Hmmm. . . what else. A nice run. A gator will scare you past the blisters. Beach until the lightning strikes and the lifeguards order your [very sober] asses out of the water. Makeovers, and photo shoots, dinner with the drunks, including the New York Jews (their term, not mine), and the unfortunate sinking feeling upon realization that the nice older couple sitting next to us during our drunken, raucous dinner are actually old friends of the family, and the parents of my cousin's best friend. Managed to keep them distracted while Natalie had herself thrown out of the restaurant (see pics on The Negative Split). More drunkenness and a much more manageable hangover the following day. If anyone reads this who knows Chris Herron, I need his email address, as we ran into someone he knows. Said person gave me coffee and bagel and I love him for that. Last thoughts: Dublin, GA sucks. So does the Claxton exit. Regrets: None, other than not getting photo or better, video, of Carrie dry-heaving at gas station. Good times.

Natalie, as you can see, I did not post awesome picture of your bare ass in the alley, but I am tempted, so if you get a wild hair, let me know, and it might even get it's own post.

Let's see, what else. Am being good with diet and exercise and lost six pounds last week. Fucking miracle, or at least probably a water weight miracle, which is like, totally recognized by the Pope.

Ooooh, and my sister gots herself a little lovebug at the Humane Society yesterday. Emily is smallish, cute, and wire-haired. I tried to steal her when I left Lisa's yesterday, but was caught at the door. Will be trying again today when they visit. Will also post pics of her majesty when they become available. Cannot wait to humiliate her by making her wear outfits. I myself did not leave with any four-leggers, despite the admirable efforts of cute dog-loving Humane Society worker who put the hard sell on me with the Dog of the Week, despite my truthful protestations that if I bring another being into our (love-filled) household, my husband will force me to give an existing pet or child up for adoption. Cute Dog Guy's suggestion? Get rid of Husband. So tempting, but he has finally learned that the way to my heart is through unloading the dishwasher on occasion, so I am going to keep him around for a while.

No trips planned for the foreseeable future, so you just might see more of me in the coming days.

Oh my God. I am old and boring, but you are up-to-date.

Annie Tour 2007

Get your t-shirts now.

I just got back from visiting brother-in-law, SIL, and CIL (cat-in-law) in Huntsville. We had a great time (three words: "Space Ice Cream.") I also was able to indulge my guilty history pleasure and take a day trip to beautiful Jackson County, Alabama, where a couple of my dead folks are buried. I was pleasantly surprised at the beauty of the area, and to find that my guy (Archibald) and his wife were early pioneers in the area. Which means, of course, that they took Cherokee land. Sad. They came from Kentucky to northern Alabama by packhorse. Yikes. I can't imagine how many arguments Todd and I would get into traversing the mountains of Kentucky, Tennessee, and Alabama by packhorse, with two kids, much less 6 or more. There was a wealth of information on the family and the area they settled (Crow Creek Valley). The cemetery where they were buried was remote, just plain beautiful, and a little scary (lots of crows), just like I like'em. My only disappointment was a dearth of snake handlers. (See National Book Award finalist: Salvation on Sand Mountain.) I guess they only do that on Sunday. I don't know what I expected - People walking around the cornfields carrying rattlers?

I arrived back yesterday afternoon, and now I am off this morning to Hilton Head with the Georgia Hotties. That's what we call our Mom's group - It used to be called Georgia Mamas, but one of us thought we were way too hot for that. I agree. I have written about how my brother-in-law snidely calls us "Girls Gone Mild." He obviously doesn't understand the hurricane of maternal drunkeness that is about to beset Hilton Head Island.

Peachtree Race Report

For anyone who is interested in how my first Peachtree Road Race went, I blogged all about it over at Metroblogging Atlanta. (I blog about Atlanta over there a few times a week.) You can always see my last five posts there by clicking on the links over on the bottom right. Check it out, because they have some great writers blogging about the city in interesting ways.

Why, Yes . . .

That was my almost-four-year-old son spectacularly showing his ass in the Barnes and Noble at Edgewood Retail District. He was the one running up and down the aisles from me (as I dragged his poor sister along by the arm) and screaming at the top of his lungs, "Don't get me! Don't get me! Don't get me!" and then screaming, "Nooooooooooonooooooooooooo. Nooooooooooooooooooo. Nooooooooo!!!!!!!" as I dragged him kicking from the store, with an embarrassed look on my face, muttering "I'm sorry" to every patron we passed along the way.

My apologies to anyone who suffered permanent hearing loss, or who will need therapy before deciding to have children of their own.

The perpetrator is now sitting in his room, thinking about the consequences of his behavior (No storytime, no haircut.)

I Did It

I ran the Peachtree. I am too pooped for words, so will have to update later on the details. It was pretty uneventful, but fun, and I am glad I did it.

Thanks to Nat and Steph for pointers/moral support, and congrats to Camille and Tara, who also finished their first one today.

Must sleep now.

Update-O-Rama

Phew! I am worn out. I never thought running 6.2 miles would take this much pre-planning. That planning is still in the works (coordinating transportation, childcare/husband, pre and post-race meetups, etc.)

Ran an easy 4 miles yesterday. I was way slow, but the knee seems to have healed nicely with the week-plus time off. I think cardio-wise, the 6.2 will be harder than it should have been for me, but with the conservative use of the knee, my body is going to thank me. Today I'm just resting up and thinking about a guilt-free big pasta dinner. I am also kind of excited about seeing the spectacle of it all. Should be a fun morning, once i get past that wakeup. I am not remotely human before sunup.

Still trying to work out networking issues. Having a complete bitch of a time uploading any pictures to Flickr.

Kids on a hike at Bill's Mountain. They are all holding rocks. They evidently made a game of throwing rocks at a fallen tree. I don't really know, because I was back at the cabin drinking beer on the porch.

More Lake Lure pics here.

Pooped Out

From last night, because I forgot to click Publish . . . .

Todd, the kids, and I went to visit friends in Lake Lure, NC this weekend. We had a great time, although kids change everything about vacation. I was up by 8 am every day we were there, even today when I woke up with a hangover. Kids do not slow down for hangovers.

We hit the road about 10:30 am and when we walked in the door, i am surprised that Todd and I didn't burst into tears at the sight. It seems that someone showed our house over the weekend, but forgot to leave the door open to the room containing the cats' litter box.

In the immortal words of Adam, the cousin of Poo, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."

There were piles of poop in the kitchen. There were wet spots of urine on the two rugs in the downstairs rooms, in the dog's crate, and in our bedroom. There were also some unidentified spots on the quilt in our bedroom.

After taking it all in, I was standing at the bottom of the stairs, trying to figure out where to begin, and Rollie sat down on the bottom step and said, "Dammit." At least he is using his new vocabulary in the correct context.

He then proceeded to pull the towel rack out of the wall in the bathroom.

Awesome. Totally awesome.

Pics from our trips and attention to blogging will be along one of these days. My summer is jam-packed with excitement like this.