Humiliating Photo of the Day

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

This one almost needs no description. I guess I took this photo (thank god for little blessings) and I am not sure how it came about, but dear lord it makes me laugh just to look at it. I still talk to Owen, Brett, Camille and Jason. No clue what happened to randy. Anyone?

Added plus to this photo is that someone brought a checkerboard pillow case. Awesome.

Awesomest part is that my parents actually kissed me goodbye and put me into a car with these people for a week. . . .

Spring Break, 1990.

Guess I should go ahead and add a link to the whole Spring Break set, for those that care.

Must go email Owen and find out if any of these shirts still exist. Or the pillowcase. Either would be awesome.

Athens Nerdy Photorgasm

The biggest REM fan and nerdy collector I know sent me this link to archives of old Athens photos from the late 70s and early 80s - Lots of band photos, party pics, band flyers, ticket stubs, newspaper photos, and that sort of stuff. Very entertaining for those who lived in Athens, or just loved Athens music, and very time-consuming.

Click on View a Gallery to see all the different contributions. Then try not to think of what our friend the collector was doing while he clicked through the photos. . . .

R.I.P.

UGA VI.

Unfortunately, I received this news while visiting my new nephew, whose father and grandfather (no relation to me, of course) are Gator fans. Grandfather, a haggard, bitter, and ugly old man, said, "What do they do when a bulldog dies?"

"They bury him in Sanford Stadium," I replied.

He nodded with seeming respect. Then, deadpan: "Figured they'd sell him to a Vietnamese restaurant."

You gotta love the tangled ties of an SEC family.

Dash

The only picture my stingy, sleep-deprived brother-in-law deigned to send to me. He is cute, but one picture does not do justice to the majesty* of my new nephew. This will have to suffice for the time being.

*All newborns look like alien worm beings.

Stream of Consciousness Post

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

This is one of my ultimate favorite pics of the boy. I think this was probably around Memorial Day or 4th of July at the Lake. (Note old boathouse - Outta there!) I guess he was about 10 months or so.

Damn, he had some serious rubber banding (rubber banding is the term used to describe fat rolls so deep that it looks like you put a tight rubber band on the kids arm) going on. Here's to his new cousin Dash carrying on the fatness tradition. Nothing worse than a skinny ass baby. I like'em fat!

He's sitting with Aunt Lisa. I love how he has a little hawk going on, and the Idol sneer. Lisa looks like she is just trying not to get sunburned and crack under the weight of him sitting in her lap.

That shirt she is wearing was hers in high school and then I stole it, because it was soft and awesome and I worked out in it. Then, I was wearing it coming back from Brant's wedding two weeks after my own wedding, and Todd and I were hit by a drunk driver and my face got all broken and there was blood all over the shirt and everything else. And then we just washed it and I still wore it, even with blood stains, which, let's face it, is completely tough.

Not sure why Lisa is wearing it, though, as she does nothing but ridicule me for my inability to throw out any piece of clothing, no matter how completely and totally fucked it is.

Walter, Jr. here. Or Lena Mae, if you prefer.

Love me some fat Rollie.

Might have to go find a pic of my face after aforementioned car wreck. Talk about tough-looking.

Dash

For those of you who haven't heard yet, Dashiell Rey is here, as of 3 am this morning. He's pretty much already a pain in our ass, just like we knew he would be. Lisa was having back pain all day Tuesday, didn't sleep Tuesday night, and then saw the OB Wed. a.m., where they told her to head to the hospital to be induced. She went into labor before they could give her anything, but the little #$@# took FOREVER. He is fine, though, and Mama and Daddy are as fine as you can be after squeezing a bowling ball out of your vagina or watching someone you love squeeze a bowling ball out of her vagina.

Did I mention he is really freakin' cute? I love him.

Pictures when my husband returns from Florida with a camera and/or my BIL gets his ass home and emails some to me. Don't they know I have a blog to support? Come on, people!

Baby News

Still no baby, but Leelee is on the way to the hospital. Will have my cel on, or you can text me. I will give updates when possible. Wish me luck!

Love,
Ultra-excited Aunt

A Good Night

Rush to get work done. Kiss chilluns and husband goodbye. Finish more work. Decide against shower. Make up for no shower with makeup. Rush to pick up Ness. Speed demon over to Thinking Man's. Miss first trivia questions. Suck at first round. Do better at second, while stuffing face and trying to watch UGA baseball game a mile away. Come in . . . Not last.

Make other girls move over closer to television so can view UGA get their asses handed to them by Fresno St. Drink more beer. Be left by two members of party. Third member of party agrees to sit at bar if I will have another drink. (Twist arm here.) Third member of party reads Tennessee Williams while I watch UGA suck ass. UGA loses 2nd game. Nessie goes outside to discuss Eminent domain with dork. I remain at bar, order last beer, and get quarters for pinball. Nessie still sitting outside debating politics. Nessie's friend tries to get a rise out of me re: eminent domain. I say i have a pinball game to play. Run out of quarters. Find a crumpled five in purse. Ask bartender if he will be annoyed if i play five dollars worth of jukebox songs. Spend ten minutes admiring awesome randomness of Thinking Man jukebox. Return to bar to talk to random guy and bartender. Nessie comes in and we leave. Nessie requests Taco Bell drive through (high point of evening!). Crank up The Hold Steady and open sunroof. Admire Half Moon. Taco Bell not open. Turn Hold Steady up higher and debate doing donuts in Lavista Rd. parking lot. Return Nessie to home and then clock land speed record to home from her house. (six minutes!)

Come inside, kiss dog, let him out, and blog. Sleep. Late. No kids. Call me if you want to go to the pool tomorrow. No kids allowed.

Ahhhhhhhh. . . summer.

Did i mention no kids? Who wants to go watch UGA with me at 7 pm?

And It Begins In Earnest

Since Mike felt comfortable enough with himself to post this photo on his blog, I feel confident that he will still be friends with me after I post another of him.


Mike, not sure how I ended up with this, as I don't remember knowing you in middle school, and I am pretty sure this was taken in Savannah. Anyway, love the jams.

This is where I am going to apologize to any and everyone who had the misfortune of being photographed during my middle and high school years. I am up to that album in my scanning project. I have performed a preliminary appraisal of the photos contained therein, and IT IS NOT PRETTY. For any of us. Things are going to be pretty bad for a while. I'm talking Esprit outfits, big hair, bad haircuts, gawkiness, zits, my famous sausage rolls hairstyle, and the worst homecoming and prom dresses in history. (No, Matt and I were never married, but it looked like it in our prom photos.)

Dear God, this will be fun and painful, all at once. Kinda like life in general.

It's Kind of Like the Secret of Oil of Olay

Basically, you hit 36 and sometimes you start feeling old, and other times, you can't believe you are 36, because, like yesterday? You were 16.

And then you get prank calls from your childhood friends, who have been prank-calling you since about. . . 1984 or so? (Yeah, that sounds about right Cue Van Halen.) And then you feel pretty young again. I mean, damn! I still got boys* calling me up at 11 o'clock at night, and no Cecil here to answer the phone and chew their asses out.

Life is good.

*30-something balding men.

Happy 39th!

Happy anniversary to my parents, who have been married 39 years. The longer I am married, the more I realize how impressive my parents' marriage is and how much they have put into their life together.

I love you both very much!

My Little Engine

Lately, we've been reading The Little Engine That Could. Not the short dumb versions, but an old complete edition that was mine as a little girl, with brilliant illustrations and lots of repetition of the phrase, "I think I can."

So, the other day, a neighbor brought by two small girls' bikes that her daughters had grown out of, to see if Tiller might be interested in them. Um, yeah, she's interested!

I planned to go back in and finish some work, but the kids saw the new bikes and any idea of working was out the window on two wheels. "NEW BIKES!!! BIKES FOR ME? MOM, NEW BIKES!! MAMA, DID YOU SEE THE NEW BIKES!? WHY DID THAT LADY LEAVE TWO NEW BIKES? WHY SHE NOT WANT BIKES?"

Indeed, why would someone not want a bike? Certainly not because of the complete chaos-inducing nature of bikes upon those under five.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon in the driveway, Tiller practicing a loop that involved arcing through the back of the garage, down the slight incline of the drive and into the sharp right turn of the sidewalk leading to the front door. (I am not sure what they do once they are at the front steps, but it usually is imagined as Grandma's house, or the bakery, or the MACDonald's drive-through. Frighteningly, Rollie can do an exact impersonation of me at the drive-thru, down to all of our exact orders.) Then Tiller would come whipping back around the corner, with a big grin under her Hello Kitty helmet, ready to fly back into the garage for another loop.

Except that when she came off that sidewalk onto the drive, she would slow down, her little legs struggling to crank up the incline into the garage, and, i realized after a few loops, whispering to herself, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can . . . " and "I did it!" (Dora the Explorer-style, of course) when she made it to the peak and into the garage.

Tiller: My Little Engine The Could

Apple Book

We started reading "The Giving Tree" to Rollie when he was around two. It was a staple in our evening story time for over a year, was the book that he most loved (so far) and is probably in the top three books that I will forever associate with reading to him as a baby.

There were nights when I was exhausted, and I would think, "Please, God, anything but the Giving Damn Tree." Sure enough, he would toddle over with it in his hands, would always ask for it, the book that he called "Apple book." For months on end, we read it every single night. Todd and I could both recite whole sections in our sleep.

And then one day, just like The Boy in the story stopped visiting the Giving Tree, Rollie started to pick The Giving Tree less and less; His tastes changed, and he wanted to read about trains or cars or Curious George.

Tonight, I asked him to pick out a book to read, and that is the book he picked out. I was pleasantly surprised - I no longer think of it as a monotonous chore, as I once did - and told him I would be in when I finished tucking Tiller in. When I went into his room, he was sitting up, reading aloud the page he was on.

I asked if he was ready to read the book. He said yes, and I laid down next to him and went to take them book from him.

"No, Mama. I'm gonna read it to you."

And he did. And it was pretty damn special.

Exhibit A

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

Per yesterday's post referencing Nat's memories of college drinking games, I give you exhibit a: Mike as Asshole.

Yeah, sorry Mike. You were the one i found a picture of with a bag on his head. I know there are others, but you are the lucky one I found first. You know this is the truth, because why else would i post a picture of me looking so lovely?

This is from 1991, I think - the beach trip I posted about last week.

All this drinking game talk is really making me want to play games! Who's in?

My Sordid Past

In the nostalgic spirit of my recent posts, Nat at The Negative Split has jumped on the bandwagon with a doozie of a story involving yours truly.

Is anyone surprised that I got naked and drunk in college?

Anyway, it made me laugh.

And Here Is Where . . .

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

I begin posting pictures that make fun of myself, too. Luckily, I am still taking others down with me. Spring Break. I think this was maybe 1991? I was definitely in college. We stayed in the biggest dump. All i remember is that it was fun. I think the fact that one of us is reading Anne Rice is very telling. C. had on the requisite Jane's tee. Camille, why are you wearing shades in the room? Why am I wearing long sleeves on Spring break? Why am I so skinny? The look that Mike and Matt are giving one another is pretty much how I remember them always looking together - Goofy and funny. The beast makes an appearance yet again. Maybe the Beast will become the new PBR, but i doubt it. If it does, you saw it on Dogwood first.

Altogether a very funny picture.

The Lake

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

Last weekend, we were supposed to go down to the lake with the Creekers, but lives and families and jobs got in the way, and Evan and I were the only ones who could go. So, we had a lovely weekend with him and his fiance (whom I like despite the fact that she is a Gator) and some non-creekers, Mike and Kim.

We drank a good amount of beer, played some Scrabble, did a lot of swimming, and ate pretty damn well. OOoooh, and we made homemade ice cream, which was just plain bitchin'. Had forgotten how good (and bad, very very bad) it is.

Anyway, this is my fave, because I just don't have many pics of us Creekers together growing up (no digital cameras at that time, which come to think of it, is probably a VERY good thing). There were some other good ones, too, like everyone watching a molting dragonfly at sunset, or Evan and the P-Man on the inner tube.

Lake=Good. Lake with Friends= Better.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!

I've written numerous times about my mixed marriage. The kids are completely on the fence. They see a G on a car in front of me and yell, "Bulldogs!" or "Georgia for you, Mama!" or they see that AU on a car and say, "Auburn!" Course, Rollie says, "Aubrun," and Tiller actually says, "Bullgogs." Which is really cute.

If they see a G and Todd is in the car, they will ask? "Daddy? You like Bulldogs, right?" And we are good parents, who try to consider if certain things we say might interfere with a child's self-esteem; Who knows if Todd telling Rollie that he doesn't like GA, when Rollie likes both UGA and Auburn, will harm R's burgeoning self-worth?

So we lie.

The standard answer for this from Todd is "Yes, I like them. I like Auburn the best, and then my second favorite team is whoever is playing Bama that week, and then Georgia." Very diplomatic, and not really untrue.

Standard answer from me is also the truth: "Yes, I like Bullgogs first." "Then Tigers, mama?" I think for a minute.

"Well, Bulldogs first, then Panthers, then Tigers.

Everyone in the car, even my 2-year-old, look at me like I am crazy.

"Panthers? Who are Panthers, mama?"

"Dillon Panthers, baby. Dillon Panthers."

Yeah, I seriously have a Friday Night Lights problem, and it's not just about the hot Coach Taylor, either. I cried last night watching them win state in the first season finale. No, I'm not kidding.

Plus, it gives me satisfaction to choose a fictional high school football team over Todd's Tigers. Always the rivalry exists.

More Memory Lane

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

Okay, is there possibly a more pretentious band name than "The Paradigms?" I think not. I'm pretty sure that I didn't even know the definition of that word when these guys used it for the name of their band. But boy, it sounded cool!

Another gem dug up in Camille's basement. I'm guessing Chris Rank took this one, too. I like the way it's on a slant. I like the car, and the way that mike looks all squeaky-clean early 60s, while Johns looks laid back California. This is an anomaly, because John, for pretty much all of high school, wore only white tees.

I am pretty sure that I can't name one song of theirs, but I did hold onto a cassette up until about 2001, the sad day when we had a garage sale and I sold my entire cassette collection to the dude that worked the kitchen at the Flat Iron. i hope he is taking care of them.

Oh, yeah, and here is another picture of Mike, with that same late 50s, early 60s feel. This almost assuredly is a Battle of the Bands or somesuch.

Inseparable

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

Okay, this is pretty much make fun of Jason's hair in high school week, although this picture obviously reams Owen even more. Seeing the quad makes me want to eat . . .well, a pb & J, even though I never actually ate much in high school. Maybe just a warm coca cola.

Again, great picture that captured a particular space and time - That year or so where things changed so much, all exemplified by Owen's Metallica soccer hair to Jason's Green shirt.

Did I mention that this was their picture for Senior Superlatives? Yep, there is nothing like telling two 18-year-olds that everyone has noticed how freakishly attached at the hip they are; great for those budding manhoods. Pun intended.

More to come, as this is the hardest I've laughed in weeks.

A Long Time Comin'

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Originally uploaded by Dogwood Girl.

This photo has quite a history. It was taken on Spring Break in 1990. It has so much going for it - people who normally wouldn't have been photographed together, late 80s frames, the Dead Milkmen shirt, what appears to be Cheese Whiz in the foreground, and the requisite can of the beast. (Note to friends of the family who will understand - cheapskate Cecil just bought two cases of the Beast for the lakehouse. i am not kidding.) Did I mention that J. is smoking? Peals of high-pitched cackles are ringing throughout my house as a i write this.

There are only two copies in existence - Held by two different people for posterity; they shall remain anonymous to protect their identities. The photo has remained in archival storage, protected from dust, sun, and fingerprints. Until now, thanks to the power of these here internets, where it can be displayed for all to see*.

The photo has been in the middle of a blackmail battle for going on 18 years now. But i have decided that i can't live in the shadows anymore, that i must bury the hatchet, and raise my head high, and admit that, yes, there is in existence a surely-frightening photograph of myself and one other unlucky lady, naked and flailing, ready to show the world just how drunk and ridiculous one can get. If that photo comes to light, so be it. However, methinks that someone has been bluffing about it's existence for nigh on 18 years now. I'm too tired to hide anymore. If it is there, let it come to light.

The gauntlet has been thrown.

*Only about five people in the world care about this photo's existence, or find it in any way funny at all. This post is for them. The rest of you just tune in next time.

Is it Bad?

That I really, really want to teach my two-year-old daughter to say:

"Konichiwa, Bitches!"

Go ahead and call DFACS.

Happy Anniversary!

Happy 40th to my favorite in-laws!